Kevin the Comforter
by crazychrizzy
Summary: Chapter 8 is finally up! Sorry for taking so long typing it up. Joan and Helen have an issue with Adam. Ending is a cliffhanger.
1. Joan's Nightmare

Kevin the Comforter Joa FanFiction

Chapter one; Joan's Nightmare

Joan, woke up in the middle of the night, bathing in sweat.

She had a nightmare, a terrible nightmare.

A group of guys and girls, all dressed in black, had been chasing her with knives drawn, ready to stab her!

She had tried to go back to sleep, but sleep wouldn't come, as she was too shaken up. The nightmare had seemed so realistic, she'd even felt the breath of two of the chasers in her neck! How was that for real! Giving in to the sleeplessness, Joan, got out of bed, grabbed her bathrobe, that was haning on a knob, to the right of her bedroom door and put it on, before entering the dimly lit hallway. Closing the door softly behind her, as not to awaken the rest of the Girardi family members, she headed to the right and entered the room closest to the staircase on her left hand side.

This was her older brother Kevin's room. Joan, needed his comfort tonight, just like she had needed it up till the age of 8, whenever, she had a nightmare about a mad cow, chasing her, wanting to grab her! Quietly, she shut the door behind her. The room she had entered, was completly dark. She, could hear her brother's breathing, as she moved closer to his bed.

"Kevin. Kevin, I had a nightmare!" Joan, muttered between several sobs.

Still half in dreamland, Kevin, reached out his right hand, grabbed his right leg, directly above the knee, pulled it to the left , which shifted his body from his back, onto his left side, making enough space for Joan to lie down, behind him. It moved Joan, to see what an effort, Kevin, obviously and so willingly took, to make space for her, in his bed.

Still sobbing, Joan uttered "Thanx, Kevin!"

"You gonna be oaky Joan?" Kevin, said drowsily.

"Yeah, I'll be okay, I just needed your comfort!" Joan replied, now crying, as at that moment Kevin, was as understanding and caring, as before the accident. Something, which she hadn't experienced for more than a year! As lately he'd been bitter, depressed, frustrated, obnoxious and full of self-pity. It was as if someone else, had taken possession of her beloved, caring and a little bit arrogant older brother's body. Sometimes, his arrogance, had annoyed her, but she'd rather he be twice as arrogant and half as depressed and angry at everything and everybody, including her, as he'd been since the accident.

"If you're okay, then why're you crying?" Kevin whispered inquiringly, turning his head, so that he looked into Joan's tearfilled eyes and her eyes locked on his, detecting some concern.

"Because, you, took the effort, to make enough space for me, to lie down! Also, you, asked me, if I was alright. Those two gestures, showed me, the side of you, that I've been missing so much, the past year! It seems as though, you have regained possession of your body and chased the angry, bitter monster, that I, fear away!""You fear me and think of me as a monster!" Kevin whispered, concern sounding through in his voice.

"At this moment, you're the brother I know and love, you're friendly, caring and considerate, comforting me after my horrible nightmare. I wish you would be like this most of the time, as

during the past year, there have been so many times, that I just couldn't figure you out. Your anger, bitterness and depressive moods freightens me. The anger, because I don't know when I, can talk to you without you shouting at me! Your bitterness, as you seem to hold the world, responsible for your paralysis. Your depressive moods, because at times, it seems as though you, don't care wether you live or die, all you do, is sit in this room in solitude, banning everyone, who cares about you, out off your life!" Joan, said in a low, serious tone of voice. You used to be, rather good natured most of the time, now you're mostly a jerk! Okay, a lot of things changed, after you broke your back; not being able to walk, feel or control certain parts of your bod, I'm not gonna pretend to know, how you feel, 'cause I don't. If you'd just let the rest of the family, in on how you feel every now and then, things might be easier for you to handle emotionally. Then, you might not be so frustrated and angry all the time! Mom wouldn't be so worried about you, wasting away in this room or killing you self! Luke and I wouldn't avoid you, like we do now, as your negative mood swings, are too much for us to handle!" Joan was dead serious and Kevin knew that.

Kevin just looked at Joan, with a spaced out expression, she knew her brother was lost in his own thoughts and let him be for the moment, waiting for him to speak.

"You two actually avoid me? Wow, I didn't know that! I admit to having mood swings and not being much fun to be around. Talking about feelings, isn't one of my strong points, it never has been and probably never will be, as I'm obviously physically vulenerable, I don't want to show my emotional vulenerability, as that'd leave me open for attack on all fronts and I my pride wouldn't let that happen, what's left of it anyways!"


	2. The Day After

Kevin the comforter,

Chapter two, The Morning After

Kevin's alarm clock went off at 6:00 a.m., as it took him an hour and a half, to get ready in the morning. Then he had to make and eat breakfast and leave for work by 8:15. Kevin, didn't get a chance to turn the alarm clock off, as Joan beat him to it. Joan, what was she doing in his bed? Still rather drowsy, it took Kevin, a while to remember, that she'd come into his room during the night, after having a nightmare.

Still lying in bed, Kevin got his train of thoughts started. They'd talked a little. She'd said, that he, often freightened her and that Luke and she both avoided him. Wow, was that ever an eye opener! His siblings avoiding him, because of his unpredicable, often bad moods and short fuse. How come, he hadn't noticed that they, avoided him? Often he wasn't feeling too hot, dealing with the changes his body, had and was going through, ever since the accident. He'd been so proud of his wel defined body and now, it was falling to pieces, bit by bit. His once muscular legs, turning into two thin sticks, which looked like they'd break, if anyone heavier than a toddler would sit on his lap! Lately, his lower abdominal muscles, had been turning into flab and there was nothing he could do about it! He couldn't even go everywhere he wanted to any more, as there were obstacles that he couldn't overcome, like stairs, steep slopes and uneven paths. On top of that, people out on the streets stared at him. Also, he had heard people say things to each other like; "such a handsome guy, too bad he's crippled! This was really hard for him to deal with, emotionally, which made him moody and easily triggered an outburst of anger.

Kevin glanced over at his alarm clock, which told him, that he really had to hurry, as it was now 6:15! Somehow, Joan, had moved his chair, to the right side of the bed, so he didn't have to wake her up, in order to get out of bed . As quietly as he could, Kevin hoisted his feet one by one, onto the foot board of his chair and then transfered the rest of his body into its seat, which was akward, as he now, had to grab hold of the left arm rest and he was used to grabbing the right, getting out of bed on the other side. Somehow he managed to get into his chair, without falling or making too much noise. Getting himself ready in the morning, wasn't only time consuming, it was also rather strenuous, as he had to make so many transfers, in and out of his chair and that while his strenght was down, first thing in the morning.

Once in his bathroom, Kevin laid out everything, he'd need after he'd showered on a shelf, next to the sink. By now it was routine, yet he didn't take it too lightly, there were so many things to remember, being drowsy as he was, he could easily forget something, which could mess up his whole day! Transfering, into his shower chair, Kevin wheeled over to the corner, where the shower was. He emptied his bladder using a catheter. Then he turned on the shower, he didn't have to worry about the temperature being too hot or cold, as it had been fitted with a thermostat, to prevent him scolding himself accidentally. Kevin, felt his body relax, and his back ache subside a bit, as the warm water ran over his body, he then soaped himself in and let the water rinse the soap away in foamy streams. As Kevin dries himself off, a sleepy looking Joan, wearing her bathrobe, enters the bathroom. Kevin offers her the shower and ask her to draw the curtain, for her and his privacy. As Joan walks past Kevin, who is sitting by the sink, she puts her hands on his shoulders and gives him a peck on the cheek and says "Thanx, for being your old self last night and now!" A few tears, begin to roll from her eyes. Kevin, wheeled himself away from the sink, raised the left arm rest and pulled Joan gently onto his towel covered lap. He gently, strokes away the tears from her right cheek, with the back of his left hand, as his palm is rough with callouse.

Joan, leans against Kevin's chest, cherishing the moment, his nearness soothing her, as it has done so many times before, so long ago! Joan, turns her head, until she looks upon Kevin's smiling face and smiles back at him. At the moment, she isn't afraid to be near him, as he is in a good mood. "Kevin, right now, you're the perfect big brother!" Joan told Kevin in a perky voice. "Joan, I'll do my best to try and be nicer around you guys, it's just that my emotions overwhelm me!" A sad look appeared on his face. Gently, Joan said,"don't fret about it Kev. I'll try to remind myself that it's not personal, if you do have a ill temper or bad mood." Then, she hit the shower.

Kevin administered the atributes, that he'd put on the shelf, before heading for the shower.He was putting pieces of cotton, between his toes, to prevent fungus infections, which he otherwise would sustain, as Joan came out of the shower.

While Joan dried herself off, Kevin transfered from his shower chair, into his wheel chair, in order to not get his bedroom floor wet.

At 7:20, Helen, went to Joan's room, to ask her, if she wanted toast or pancakes for breakfast. To her surprise, she found Joan's bed all messed up and empty, as was the rest of the room. Where could Joan be then? As Helen had just left the bathroom, she knew her daughter wouln't be there. She'd just woken up Luke, Joan hadn't been in his room. Could it be that Joan had gotten up really early and had gone to Adam's house to pick him up, to walk with him to school? Helen, knew that it wasn't like Joan, to get up before the last minute, but then, Joan had done stranger things lately, hadn't she!

Luke was the first one to come downstairs, as always. He sat down and had his usual ham and cheese toast. "Luke, did you happen to hear Joan, leave this morning?"

"Sorry mom, I was sleeping like a log, when you woke me up, so I wouldn't have heard her. She missing?"

"No, just not in her room. She probably just got up early, went to Adam's house to walk with him to school." Helen said calmly, smiling at Luke, "Yeah, you're probably right mom."

Once in his room, Kevin, glanced at the clock, above the bedroom door, which read 7:30, he then, wheeled himself over to the shelves holding his clothes, picked out what he needed and put it in his lap, and then headed for the left side of his bed, where with a sweep, he threw the clothes onto it. In one fluent motion, he transferd himself onto the bed, Joan trailing him, wearing her bathrobe for lack of beter, absent mindedly lifted his legs onto the bed.

Realizing what she'd just done, she wondered how Kevin would react, as normally, he would have been really mad at someone helping him, without having been asked to do so! She needn't have worried, as with a reassuring smile, he thanked her. Wow, Joan thought to herself, my big brother, must be coming down with something, as he's way, too friendly!

Joan left Kevin's room, heading for her own, not only to get dressed, but also to give him some privacy, while he put his clothes on.

Helen and Luke, both looked up, as they heard the chair lift running, bringing Kevin downstairs. Helen was a bit shocked, to see her eldest son looking rather perky, as she hadn't seen him looking anything but angry lately. She certainly hoped, his high spirits were there to stay for a while, as that would be a welcoming change to his ill temper, drepressive and angry moods.

Helen, looked away, as Kevin hoisted himself into his wheel chair, as she still couldn't bare to see her son's vulnerability. As Kevin seated himself at the table though, Helen said 'Good morning Kevin" and gave him a hug and a smile.

Returning her smile, Kevin said "Good morning mom! Is there any toast left?"

"Sure, I'll just make you some!" Helen said, giving Kevin a big smile, as his good mood, cheered her up.

After finishing his toast, Kevin washed down a couple of Cranberry capsules and a few heavy duty vitamin C tablets, to keep bladder infections at bay, as a paraplegic, he was very susceptible to these infections, which often lead to bladder cancer, which kills 80 of people with paraplegia. Kevin, did not want to fall under those 80 percent, if he could help it!

"Mom, do you want me to carry out the gargabe, as Joan has left the house and obviously didn't do her chore this morning!" Luke inquired, with a speck of sarcasm in his voice.

"Who's left the house!" Joan said, calling from the top of the stairs.

"Oh where did you come from? I looked for you all over the house!" Helen exclaimed.

"You obviously didn't look in Kevin's room, as that's where I was!" Joan informed her mother, a bit obnoxiously.

Looking confused, Helen asked Kevin if this was so. Somewhat proud, as Joan had turned to him and no one else, Kevin replied "Yeah mom! Like in the old days, she ended up in my bed! Needing her big brother's comfort and protection after a nightmare!"

Helen gave Joan a hug, before she sat down a plate, with some toast for her daughter.

After Joan had finished her breakfast, Kevin asked if he should drop her and Luke off at school, as he was running ahead of his scheduel. Neither reclined this offer, which didn't come along all that often. Helen, hugged Joan and Luke and wished them a nice day at school, as they went out the door. As she gave her oldest son a longer hug than usual, she said tenderly "Kevin, thank you for being so nice to Joan and giving them a ride to school! Also, I would like to say, that your pearkiness this morning, it's a welcoming change, which makes me happy! Now be off and take care!"

"You too mom!" Kevin said, hugging her back. As he wheeled out the door, both he and Helen had a smile covering their faces from ear to ear.


	3. Waters Run Deep

Disclaimer: I own nothing and acknowledge this willingly.

Kevin the Comforter Chapter Three- Waters Run Deep

This takes place, on a Saturday, a few days after Kevin comforted Joan after her nightmare.

Will is away on urgent police business.

Joan and Luke are on a double date with Adam and Grace, to the local swimming pool and left the house earlier this morning.

Setting- the Girardi's kitchen, around 10:15 a.m. 

Helen and Kevin are having breakfast together.

"Kevin, are you going anywhere today?" Helen asks inquisitively.

"Rebecca is coming over later on." Kevin replies, trying to sound casual.

Sensitive as she is, Helen hears the excitement in the undertone of his voice.

She smiles, but doesn't let on, that she knows how he really feels about Rebecca visiting.

"Oh that's nice. I like Rebecca, she's grounded and she has her goals set and it seems as though she has positive influence on you!" Helen says serenly, giving Kevin an encouraging smile.

"Just what do you mean by positive influence mom?" Kevin looks at Helen, quizzically.

"Well, she has you challenging yourself within the journalistic field, letting you explore your qualities doing research and writing articles, instead of just make due being the fact checker.

I admire the way she gets through to you where your dad and I don't, also I'm very proud of the result, meaning your well written articles" Helen replies, looking proudly at Kevin.

"Mom, you mean to tell me you actually read those articles I wrote?" Kevin inquires surprisedly.

Looking deep into her son's eyes, Helen replies "Yes Kevin, I read everyone of them! I realize that you, like me, have an artistic talent eventhough it's in a different field." I am so proud of you being a talented writer, the big comforting brother, but mostly, I am proud of you being our son! Don't you ever think otherwise, not even when we scold you, okay!"

"Um, you better leave that 'our' out our son, I don't think dad's proud of me as a son or anything else!" As he says this, a hurtfull look appears on his face.

"Ofcourse your dad is proud of you Kevin, what makes you think he isn't?" Helen asks, sounding concerned.

"Dad and I always hung out, he always had a camera around his neck, ready to take snap shots of me doing this or that, proudly showing the pictures off to everyone. Since the accident, he hasn't hung out with me once and the few pictures that have been taken, he certainly hasn't shown anyone!" Kevin replies, his emotions a mix of hurt and anger, he tries to wipe a tear from his cheek so his mom will not notice. The always observant Helen sees it anyways, gets up from her seat and gives her eldest son a big comforting hug. Thinking about it, she realizes to her dismay that there might be some truth in what Kevin just said, Will indeed didn't hang out with him anymore, not that he hung out with Joan or Luke instead. Maybe he was just too busy with his job here in Arcadia. Yet, maybe there was more to it, Helen would try to bring up the subject later that evening, when they had a moment to themselves.

Setting- local swimming pool, approximately 11:20 a.m. 

Joan is sitting on the edge of the pool, resting after they have been swimming and playing in and out of the water for 2 hours, when suddenly she's pushed into the pool by Luke, as she comes out of the water she says "Geek Boy, I'm gonna get you for this!" As a reply Luke just smiles at her. Grace is standing on the edge of the pool laughing at Luke pushing Joan in when Adam gives her a shove, which lands her in the water right along side Joan. Joan and Grace look up at the two boys and both send them an angry glance. Grace whispers a plan to get even with Adam and Luke to Joan, which laughs and nodds her head vigurously agreeing to participate in its execution. Luke and Adam look at eachother and then jump into the pool making a bomb, almost landing themselves on top of the girls, which in return dunk them and then climb onto their shoulders to complete their vengence. Luke comes out of the water; with Grace still on his shoulders; coughing as he has swallowed some water. Then Adam jumps up with great force making Joan shake like a rag doll and lose her grip, landing her in the water with a big splash, a bit away from the others. "Adam, that was fun, mind doing it again?" Joan asks with a hopefull look on her face. "Sure Jane, hopp back on and I'll catapult you, maybe Luke and Grace want to join in too?" Luke looks at Grace whom nodds in reply, then the girls climb onto Adam and Lukes shoulders and the fun can begin.

_Setting- A dirt road, just outside Arcadia, round about 9:05 a.m._

Will arrives at the scene, where he is informed by Officer Hall that they have found a body belonging to a 27 year old male dead behind the wheel of his car, there is no apparant reason for his death, as his body doesn't show any gun or stab wounds or any other signs of violence. As Will leans into the dead man's car, the smell of beer is overwhelming, he expects to find some empty beer cans or bottles but doesn't find any.

After the photographer has done his work on the scene, the body is taken to a forensic lab to establish the time and cause of death and if anything indicates foul play, hopefully the forensic detectives findings will lead to the killer or killers.

After the body has been taken away, Will and his men continue searching the car and the surroundings for clues which can lead to the young man's death. In a ditch, about a quarter of a mile north of the crime scene, Will finds a few empty beer cans which he collects, they will be tested in the lab for traces of DNA, which then might explain the strong smell of beer in the young man's car. Officer Hall, finds a pair of tracks going in the opposite direction of which the dead man's car had been heading and then double back over a field next to the road, just 400 yards short of where the diseased had been found. She alerts the rest of the squad about her findings, as it might be significant to their research as to how and why this man died.

Setting- the Girardi's kitchen, about 10:50 a.m. 

Helen and Kevin let go of their embrace, as the bell rings.

"That'll be Rebecca!" Kevin says nervously. Helen opens the door, stepping aside, she allowes Rebecca to enter. Kevin wheels himself over to the two woman and greets Rebecca with a broad smile, in return she greets him with a gentle peck on the cheek.

The three of them sit down at the kitchen table for a cup of coffee and a friendly chat, after that Kevin and Rebecca excuse themselves and take off to Kevin's room.

Helen has some art work to grade and tends to that, sitting at the kitchen table.

Setting- Kevin's room, somewhere around 11:15 a.m. 

Rebecca's eyes glimmer with affaction as she looks at Kevin, waiting for him to reach the top of the stairs as she doesn't know which room is his, not having been any further than the living room on her previous visits. He quickly transfers from the chair lift into this wheel chair and leads Rebecca to his room.

Entering the room he turns on the light switch next to the door, revealing a room a lot different than the one Tracey(see Curiousity Killed the Friendship chapters one and two) entered some six months earlier, as there are posters up on the wall and a few family pictures to personalize it and instead of dimly lit, the room is bathing in light.

Rebecca looks around the room and walks over to the pictures hanging on the wall to the right of the door, to seek out Kevin, the first one she hits upon was taken in a local park, where the rest of the Girardi's are situated around a rather sad looking Kevin. "Why do you look so sad in this one?" Rebecca asks, looking at Kevin for a sign of withdrawal in case he doesn't want to talk about it. Matter of factly Kevin answers, "that one was taken after we just moved here, I hadn't come to terms with us moving or my disability back then." Rebecca nodds understadingly and moves on to the next picture, which reveals Joan, Luke and Kevin working happily on the boat situated in the garage. The happines of the three Girardis radiates from the paper, giving Rebecca a warm feeling. Smiling at Kevin she says, "I really like that one, it's so full of positive energy!"

Cheerfully he replies, "Yeah, one of the few times the three of us actually got along! It's a good thing mom took this picture or no one would have believed us!"

The next picture that catches Rebecca's attention isn't hanging on the wall but is standing on a shelf to her left. Kevin follows her glance, his heart all of a sudden beating in his throat instead of his chest, as he doesn't want Rebecca to see that picture, at least not yet. Quickly he wheels over to her and grabs her hand, leads her to his bed, gestures for her to sit down, which she does looking back over her shoulder at the shelf with the picture, which Kevin obviously doesn't want her to look at, as he wheels back to the shelf and puts the picture in question into a desk drawer.

"Why don't you want me to see that picture?" Rebecca asks curiously, as Kevin wheels back to her.

"Umm. It's not the right time. I'll show it to you someday, when I feel okay about it. Okay Rebecca?" He looks at her pleadingly, wanting her to let the matter rest for now.

Taking his hand, stroking it gently Rebecca replies, "As it seem to mean so much to you, I'll let you have your peace of mind for now."

"Thanks Rebecca." Kevin says, sighing in relief.

Rebecca is sitting on Kevin's bed, looking straight into Kevin's eyes which is seated opposite her and in return is looking deep into her eyes, for a moment they seem to be in trance, as they awaken, Rebecca seats herself on his lap and they fall into each other's arms and let their emotions flow.

Setting- local swimming pool, around 12:30 p.m. 

Joan is jumping off the edge of the pool doing backward summersaults together with Grace, Adam and Luke judge them on the execution to see which of the girls is the best; as Adam thinks Joan is the best and Luke thinks Grace is the best they are both winners. Now it's Luke and Adam's turn to compete, they both try to make the most splashing bomb. The girls face the same dilemma the boys have, they favor their own 'partner', so again two winners are declared.

Joan says "I'm hungry, let's see it they have anything reasonable to eat here!"

Adam replies "they have some awsome fries and burgers here."

"Then what are we waiting for, let's eat before I faint!" Joan says, hurrying the others along. Reaching the restaurant area Joan says, "Oh no, look at that long line infront of the counter! I'm really gonna faint before it's our turn to order!"

"You think you're the only hungry one here, think again Girardi!" Grace says sarcastically as her stomach too is growling.

A janitor standing a few feet to the left of Joan, beconds her over to him, she obeys, knowing that it's God.

God tells her, "Joan, I want you to help your mother cook dinner today for the six of you."

"Who's the sixt person, or shouldn't I ask?" Joan asks, her curiosity awakened.

With a smile Gods says "It's Rebecca" with that God leaves waving at her over his shoulder.

This assignment puzzels Joan, as she doesn't understand what good will come of it.

When she returns to the others, Grace says "what did the janitor want from you?"

Quickly Joan says, "uh nothing." She hates lying to her friend about her conversation with God but she doesn't want to be called a psycho either, which would surely be the case if she told the truth.

Having gotten their order, the four friends sit down at a vacant table to enjoy their lunch, while they talk about what they have done so far that day, people at school and people they now see around them.

_Setting- Arcadia Forensic Institute, round about 12:30 p.m. _

Will is on his way over to the forensic institute along with Officer Hall, as the investigators have found a few clues as to what may have been the cause of death, of the young male found in his car that morning. The investigators tell Will and Officer Hall, that they aren't yet certain what the cause of death is, as there is more than one possibility. The alcohol level in his blood could indicate that he died of alcohol poisoning. Other than that though, his blood also held a large enough amount of morphine to be lethal. Within his trachea the investigators have found a third possible cause of death, a bullet! The only way for the bullet to end up there, is if it had been shot through the victim's mouth! The investigators have yet to rule out suicide. Will hopes the poor man lost it and took his own life; though with his luck and the tracks they have found so close to the young man's car; he doubt that is the case. Which means that he has a killer on the loose in his durastiction and he or she has possibly used three different methods to kill one person! This is too creepy to just shake off and say it's all in a days work, even for Will.

_Setting- the Girardi's laundry room around 11:20 p.m. _

Helen enters the laudry room and begins ironing the clothes in a pile close to 4 feet tall! After ironing away about a quarter of the pile, Helen hears the chair lift's motor running, shortly after that, she hears her eldest son and Rebecca laughing happily. Helen hearing Kevin laughing so heartily sheds a few tears, as she now realizes how much she missed the sound of his laughter which she used to take for granted, as it was so much a part of Kevin as he always seemed to be laughing. Then she hears the two of them entering the garage, Kevin is probably going to showing off 'their' boat to Rebecca, with that thought in mind she smiles and resumes ironing.

_Setting- the Girardi's garage at 1:45 p.m._

Kevin has told Rebecca about the boat, a family project which is located in the garage but when they enter the garage and she sees it, her mouth falls open, it's a lot bigger and more professional looking than she could ever have imagined.

"Oh my goodness, Kevin it's a master piece! How much of this boat is your doing?" Rebecca says looking at Kevin, admiration written all over her face as she gently strokes one of the boats smooth edges.

"I have put in a few hours every now and then, but Joan was the one who started the project, mostly to get me into doing something else than sitting in my room and wasting away, so in a way, me working and you being here is her doing!" Kevin replies, a bit ashamed as he just now, realizes that Joan is the one responsible for him getting his life back on track.

"Well I guess I'll have to thank your sister then for getting you out off your self-inflicted imprisonment!" Rebecca says semi-seriously, semi-teasingly.

Slightly blushing, Kevin replies a bit timidly: "Well, I just now realize, that I haven't thanked Joan myself yet." .

"Ah, so that's why you are blushing! Well I'll let you thank her before I do then, just for good measures."

"Yeah, sure, better late than never huh?" Kevin says giving Rebecca a shy smile.

"Oh, don't you go soft on me here, with that shy smile of yours!" Rebecca says teasingly.

"Me soft, no way! That smile wasn't a shy one, I was trying look cute!" Kevin says trying to sound tough and self-assured.

Rebecca knows better but lets the case rest, as she knows that Kevin's pride won't let him admit to being sensitive, especially not to her as she is his girlfriend and boss, therefor she just nodds and says "Okay, I rest my case!"

"Thank you, for letting me convince you of my non-soft character!" Kevin says a bit exaggeratedly.

Rebecca laughs, shakes her head and then embraces Kevin, cherishing the intense moment that they share, she closes her eyes and takes in the intense fresh smell of wood and the soft smell of Kevin's cologne.

The Girardi's kitchen a little after 1:15

Helen is smiling as she grades Adam Rove's art work, she is impressed by his ever developing talent, his abstract forms and never ending flow of ideas. However much she admires his work, it worries her too as there's always a sinister undertone present in his work, which leads her to the conclusion that Adam might be suffering from a form of depression.

Having finished grading all her art students work, Helen clears the kitchen table and starts making french toast for the three of them. About fifteen minutes later, she calls on Rebecca and Kevin for lunch.

Helen observes the two of them as they scatter in from the garage; she can tell that Rebecca is truely in love with her eldest, as her eyes are gleaming and she doesn't let him out of her sight. Kevin's cheery mood, broad smile, shimmering eyes watching Rebecca constantly and a bit jittery moves, are dead give away signs that he's in love. Helen can't take her eyes away from them, as their intense feeling for one another releases emotions of happines and contentment which she hasn't felt for a long time, as there has been too many hardships to deal with the past two years starting off with Kevin's accident, his and the rest of the families acceptance of his paralysis, the family dealing with his mood swings and depressions, their move to Arcadia, Will losing his job as a police chief, Joan and Luke attending a new school, at first having trouble making new friends and therefor being moody, snappy and accusing her and Will of moving to Arcadia against their will.

As Rebecca and Kevin take their seats at the kitchen table, Helen snaps back to reality.

"I made a lot of French toast so I hope you are both hungry." Helen says informatively. "Believe me mom, I'm starving!" Kevin replies, but then that's nothing new, as he always seems to have a good appetite. Actually, Helen judges his health by the amount he eats, if he doesn't eat too much she knows that he might be coming down with something

"Mrs. Girardi, though I am hungry, please don't expect me too eat half what Kevin does, because I couldn't!" Rebecca replies laughing.

Helen shakes her head and smiles. "Rebecca, I don't expect that of you or anyone else!"

_Setting- Arcadia Forensic Institute, round about 4:20 p.m. _

Will and Officer Hall, find themselves in the forensic lab for the second time that day, as the investigators are about to reveal what caused the young man's death and wether it was murder or suicide.

One of the investigators explaines to Will and Officer Hall, that the young man had committed suicide. He had first intoxicated himself, then taken the dosis of morphine, these two measurements not working fast enough, he had finally taken a gun and put it in his mouth and pulled the trigger!

Will is shocked and asks "what could cause a young man to become so desperate, that he'd use three different methods to make sure he died on his own accord?"

The investigator has a very disturbing answer ready for Will: "The diseased had a malignant tumor the size of a ping-pong ball, growing along side his spine in the neck area, which would paralyze him within a short time span, my guess is that he couldn't live with this prospect and decided to end it all before it got that far."

Will for once has gotten 'lucky', there isn't a killer on the loose in his durastiction, but the likely reason for the young man ending his life gives him cold shivers and goose bumps, as he realizes that Kevin too has been playing with the idea of suicide after his paralyzis, though thankfully has never gotten around to actually attempting an effort, at least not yet!

Will and Officer Hall thank the investigators for the time and effort they put into solving this case and then leave the building. As they head towards their trooper, Will asks Officer Hall to drive them back to the station, as he is feeling a bit queasy.

Setting- the Girardi's living room about 3:45 

Helen, Rebecca and Kevin are enjoying themselves watching the first of two movies they all agreed upon on DVD. Helen pauses the movie about half way, to ask Rebecca to stay for dinner, the latter accepts the invitation gracefully. Helen can tell by the look on her eldest son's face, that he's thrilled that his girlfriend is staying for dinner. Oh he's thrilled alright, as he is experiencing one of the happiest days in a long time and Rebecca staying over for dinner, thus even longer than originally initiated, only adds to his uplifted mood.

_Setting- A public bus somewhere in Arcadia at 4:15 p.m._

Sitting in the back of the bus Joan, Grace, Luke and Adam relax after an active yet relaxing day at the pool.

"Hey Adam, Luke and Grace, you doing anything tomorrow?" Joan asks casually.

"No, why?" Adam replies

"I don't think so. You have anything in mind?" Grace asks a bit wearily.

"Maybe the four of us could study for the AP chem exam together? I know you three'll pass anyways, but then I might get something other than an F!" Joan informs them.

Adam replies, "If I can help you pass AP chem, then count me in!"

"Yeah, me too!" Grace says, suddenly a bit more awake than a minute ago. Luke doesn't reply as he is asleep, therefor Grace pokes him between his ribs, getting his attention and says "Luke, can we count you in for an AP chem study session tomorrow?"

"Oh, sure, why not." Luke replies a bit groggily.

Setting- the Girardi residence at 4:45 

Joan and Luke enter the house and hear laughter coming from the living room, nothing strange in itself, beside them hearing Kevin's laughter above the others. They look at each other and smile, with Kevin laughing like he is now, they know that what ever emotional damage Tracey(see chapters 1 and 2 of Curiosity Killed the Friendship) caused their older brother it has now been eliminated. Perkily Joan and Luke enters the living room area.

"Hi mom, Kevin and Rebecca!" Joan says joyfullly

"Hi Joan and Luke!" Rebecca replies smiling broadly

"Hi why don't you join us, we are chatting a bit so Rebecca can get to know us better and we get to know more about her!" Helen says happily, producing a broad smile.

In answer Joan and Luke sit down on the couch a long side Rebecca.

Kevin ask earnestly interested how their day at the pool was, this surprises Helen, Joan and Luke, as he been too pre-occupied lately with his work, basket ball practise and emotions, mostly those he feels for Rebecca, to say anything besides "hi" and "bye" and at meal time the occasional "can you pass the salt, pepper ect.?" to his siblings.

Joan starts off by moaning about the guys pushing Grace and her into the pool, then enthusiastically she tells them about their revenge, dunking the guys and climbing onto their shoulders to prevent them getting back up out off the water too easily. Her enthusiasm annoys Luke, as he didn't like the girls form of revenge as he swallowed a lot of water, but it makes Kevin, Helen and Rebecca laugh.

Luke stoppes their laughter by continuing where Joan left off, telling them about the girl's summersault and the guy's water bom competition and how they all declared their own girlfriend or boyfriend the winner, he then tells them about the people they observed while lunching at the pool restaurant, as he gets into his vivid description, which he complements with strange gimmicks, the others can't help but roar in laughter as Luke shows his comic side, a side of Luke that they never before have experienced to this degree!

Will enters the house, he is emotionally and physically drained after a very trying day at work, eventhough he was planing on going upstairs and taking a soothing shower before even saying hi to anyone, the laughter brings him into the living room area, where he finds his wife, sitting on the floor on a big pillow, Joan and Luke sitting next to Rebecca on the couch and Kevin sitting in his chair next to her, leaning onto the right arm rest of the couch, like the others, he is doubled over roaring with laughter.

Will feels a great weight has been lifted off of his back seeing Kevin happy and laughing like that, as the suicide case today has made him extra aware that his eldest son, has been playing with the idea of suicide on and off for two years now and that he has been emotionally down and unstable after Tracey broke his heart and trust.

The rest of the Girardi family members too, feel a certain comfort in the sudden change in Kevin's mood and emotional state as they, just like Will have been worried about him, though the waters still runs deep, they now dare to hope that Kevin really is getting his life and emotions back on track.

Kevin himself is oblivious to the fact that he in one day, has comforted all his family members' minds, as he is to full of thoughts about Rebecca being his girlfriend, her staying over for dinner and the fact that she is coming over again tomorrow.


	4. You Lose Some, You Win Some

Kevin the Comforter Chapter Four – The Calm and the Furious

Takes place later the same Saturday as chapter 3 does.

Setting- the Girardi's kitchen around 5:30 

Helen gets up from the pillow on the floor and heads for the kitchen in order to make dinner. Remembering her assignment from God, Joan reluctantly gives up her spot on the couch and follows her mother into the kitchen. Helen bumps into Joan, as she takes a skillet out off one of the lower cabinets. She's truely surprised to find herself in the company of her daughter.

"Joan, if you are getting a drink, get it and be off, so we don't have to keep bumping into one another!" Helen says a bit annoyed.

"Um, mom I was wondering, if I could help you, maybe cut something?" Joan replies a bit sheepishly, as she realizes she hardly knows what it takes to make a hot meal.

"Oh you want to help me out, that's a welcoming change!" Helen replies unbelievingly.

"Mom I'm serious, I wanna help you make dinner!" Joan says, with a pleading look.

Sighing Helen says "Oh wel, there's a cutting board in the left top drawer, you can use that one to cut some carrots, peppers and peel the potatoes that are in this bag."

"Wow, all these potatoes! This must be at least 10 pounds worth!" Joan exclaimes as she lifts it onto the kitchen table, where she has set up her 'work spot'.

"Actually that's only 8 pounds worth, but if it's too much for you, I'll do it myself." Helen says giving Joan an 'I-told-you-so' look.

"It's not that I won't do it, I'm just making sure you, oh never mind, I'm just babbeling."

With that Joan starts to peel a big almond shaped potato.

Helen can't help but feeling some pride, as she casts a side way glance at her daughter sitting there with consentration wrinkels on her forehead, as she struggles with an odd shaped potato.

As this is only like the fifth time in her life, that Joan is peeling potatoes, it doesn't come easy to her and she curses God underneath her breath with gritted teeth, for putting her up to this.

As Joan is about to start peeling her third potato, Rebecca joins them, wondering if she can be of any assistance. After Helen gives her a cutting board and a carrot peeler, Rebecca joins Joan at the kitchen table and starts to peel the carrots. Joan looks at her in awe, as Rebecca peels one carrot after the other with long smooth effortless moves, making Joan's potato peeling skills look rather clumsy and feeblish, still she carries on, not wanting to admit that she feels expandible at the moment.

Helen notices that Joan is comparing her work to Rebecca's and doesn't like what she sees, as Joan's face looks rather flushed and wears a bit of a lost expression, therefor she walks up behind her daughter and gives her shoulder a friendly comforting rub, before she walks over to Rebecca and scrapes the peeled carrots off of the cutting board into a skillet and brings it back to the stove.

Her mother's sign of affection cuts two ways with Joan's emotions, firstly it gives her a good feeling as her mother is appriciating her help and then it dawns on her, that her mother rubbed her shoulder in pity, as she can see that she isn't doing all that great a job peeling the darn potatoes, no matter how much effort she puts into it.

Rebecca finishes cutting the peppers and offers to help Joan peel the rest of the potatoes, it's an offer which Joan first wants to decline, then thinking of how long it would take her to peel the other half and how late dinner would be ready, she inclines with a smile in Rebecca's direction. Soon after, all the potatoes left in the bag are peeled, Joan produces a great sigh of relief, as her mother adds them to the awaiting boiling water. Helen thanks the two girls for their help, tells them to go ahead and relax until she calls them all to dinner.

Setting- Joan's room around 6:05 

Joan goes upstairs to rinse the chlorine from the swimming pool out of her bathing suit and towel, having done that, she lies down on her bed and reluctantly starts reading 'Of Mice and Men' by John Steinbeck, which is a part of the Sophomore English curriculum. The first chapter is a bit hard for her to get into, after that she is captured by Steinbeck's unusual, yet captivating way with words. She's so into the book, that Helen has to call her three times, before she answers and puts the book down.

Setting- the Girardi's kitchen round about 6:30 

As Joan sits down at the table Helen passes her an questioning glance, as to say 'what took you so long to answer me'. Joan ignores it and scoops some stew onto her plate as she's ravenous after such an active day.

Helen lets her off the hook, though Kevin doesn't, as he's a bit worried about her, therefor he curiously inquires, "Joan, you okay? I mean it's not that I'm concerned or anything like that, but you not answering, the first time anyone calls you for a meal, is a bit odd!"

Joan sticks out her tongue at him and replies "For your info, I was reading an assigned book for English."

"That must have been some book, if you didn't hear mom call you before the third time!" Kevin replies with a smile, slightly amused as it is an answer he would expect from Luke, not Joan.

"I was reading 'Of Mice and Men' by John Steinbeck, a book which is mandatory to pass Sophomore English, which you probably had Luke read and review so you could play base ball instead!" Joan replies snappishly.

The moment she says it she regrets it, but it is too late, she sees how Kevin goes pale, the twinkle in his eyes subsides into oblivion and the perky expression on his face is substituted by one of utter anguish, in the wink of an eye.

Without saying anything, Kevin releases the brakes on his chair, pushes himself away from the table and heads towards the stairs.

Joan gets up from the table in a hurry, the momentum of her movement causing her chair to tip over backwards and land on the floor with a bang. With a clumsy leap she jumps over it and rushes over to Kevin, which is just about to transfer into the chair lift."Kevin, I'm so so sorry! That was so mean and unfair of me! Please return to the table, I'll leave instead!" Joan pleads with Kevin. Not awaiting his answer, Joan runs up the stairs and locks herself in her room. Instead of returning to the table, Kevin wheels himself into the garage, seeking a bit of distraction he works on the boat.

The four left at the table watch and listen to this dumbfoundedly, as they are too astonished by Joan's hatefull remark to react at once. Will is the first one to regain his sences, with brisk steps he walks up to Joan's room and knocks on her door, demanding her to let him in. Once inside, he graps her by her arm and drags her into a standing postion. For the first time in her life, Joan is afraid of her father as she's never seen, or felt his anger like this before. Oh, had she ever messed up! Kevin had expressed concern for her, what did he get in return, a really mean and hurtfull remark, which Joan knew would hit his sore spot! If she had only thought before she spoke, then everybody would still be sitting around the table enjoying the meal, Kevin would still be in a great mood and she wouldn't have to face her angry dad.

Setting- Joan's room approximately 6:40 p.m. 

"Joan, what in the world were you thinking when you said that to Kevin! For the first time in two years, he was so darn happy that we were able to hear his hearty laughter and what do you do, give him a totally uncalled for emotional blow! You know Joan, Kevin was really concerned, when you didn't answer your mom's first two calls, if you hadn't answerd that third call, he would have taken the effort to go up stairs to check on you! You just don't realize how much he cares about you, do you! He would give his life for you, just like that!"- Will snaps his fingers to emphasize his point.

Joan looks down, too ashamed to face her furious dad, as she remembers the sudden change in color and expression on Kevin's face, a change which she caused with her far from harmless remark! She knows her dad is right, she was totally out of bounce!

Like a movie, all the times that Kevin stood up for her when she was bullied as a kid passes by, the last episode that goes through her mind is one, that just took place at the beginning of last month, she had been walking home from school, when two guys, one blond, one dark haired, approximately in their mid-twenties had tagged at her bag with such force that she had fallen onto the ground. The blond one was about to kick her in the stomach, when Kevin appeared seemingly out of nowhere and had given the guy a side way push with his wheel chair, which had thrown him off balance, giving Joan enough time to get back on her feet. As Kevin gave the blond guy a push which landed him on the ground, the dark haired guy had tried to kick Kevin's leg in order to tip him over, only Kevin had been too quick for him and had ran over his left foot with his massive front wheels over and over, until he was hopping around on his right foot and had yelled for his friend, to help him escape the crippled lunatic!

As the two guys had made themselves scarse, Joan had hopped onto Kevin's lap crying, as she realized he had come to her rescue at the right time, or the guys would have beaten her up, she too did realize, that they could have beaten up Kevin as well, and had told him that it was foolish of him to put himself in danger like that. Kevin had replied, that if he had to, he would fight until his last breath, if by doing so he could save her!

Remembering the times Kevin had come to her rescue and him declaring he would give his life for her's, Joan breaks down crying remoursfully.

"Now what do you have to say for yourself Joan?" Will asks his daughter, looking her straight into the eyes, his anger has grown instead of subsiding since he entered her room, as she fell silent on him instead of explaining why she made that remark.

"Poor Kevin! I... I'm so ashamed... of myself, I... was so mean... to him...and that while he's so... sweet... to me...! Joan utters between sobs, leaning against her closet for support, as her knees are shaking too vigorously for her to stand on her own.

Setting- the Girardi's garage around 6:45 p.m. 

Just after he hears his father run up the stairs, Kevin hears a chair being pulled away from the tabel, soon after there's a soft knock on the garage door, somehow he knows it's Rebecca, in a soft voice he tells her to enter. It's indeed Rebecca. She's shocked, as she sees the agonized expression upon his pale, tear streaked face and seats herself on his lap, embracing him in a big hug, stroking his hair in comfort. Rebecca is pleased to feel, that Kevin draws her nearer to him, instead of pushing her away, as she is a bit uncertain of his reaction to her sudden sign of affection. Eventhough Kevin stopped crying before Rebecca enters the garage, his body is still shaking with emotion and Rebecca pulls herself out of the embrace, in order to look him in the eye. Concern sounds through in her voice, as she inquires how he's feeling.

"None too hot Rebecca. Joan really got to me this time. That remark hit me right in the guts. Okay, it's no big secret that Luke did a lot of school work for me, so that I indeed could spend more time on the field, but she didn't have to say it in such a mean, rub-it-in way and she knows that not being able to play base ball, is the hardest thing for me to deal with, next to not being able to walk!" Kevin replies looking down, as he doesn't want to show Rebecca how badly he's actually hurting. Rebecca senses this and proceeds asking him questions, as she wants him to show his feelings, thinking it'll make him feel better.

"Um, is this an interregation Rebecca or do you feel like I have to talk, to get things out of my system?" Kevin says in reaction to Rebecca's numerous questions.

"I'm impressed Kevin at how fast you catch on! I do indeed think, that talking will help you sort out and deal with your emotions. Is that so wrong?" Rebecca replies looking at Kevin, trying to sense how far she can go before he distanciates himself from her and becomes introvert, in order to 'protect' himself from her dragging all those mixed hurt feelings out of him, thus making him deal with it there and then.

"Rebecca, I appriciate you wanting to help me, but please no more questions. I'll deal with my feelings, no matter how hurtfull they are, only not right now, okay?" Kevin says pleadingly.

Taking his hand, Rebecca says, "Okay Kevin, I'll let it be. I just wish that I could make things easier for you, that's all."

Kevin looks at Rebecca and manages to sound light-hearted as he says "You coming after me into the garage means a lot to me, as it's a sign that you really do care about me and how I feel, that in itself is very comforting.

Looking at him questioningly, Rebecca says, "Kevin, shouldn't we rejoin the others at the dinner table, just as not to be rude?"

"Yeah, I guess so, though I have to admit that I'm no longer hungry!" Kevin replies.

_Setting- the Girardi's kitchen- 7:00 p.m._

Helen and Luke both look relieved, when Rebecca followed by Kevin enters the kitchen and then reseats themselves at the table. Helen offers to heat up their plates in the microwave, Rebecca doesn't decline her offer, like Kevin does, as she's still rather hungry only having eaten two pieces of French-toast all day. Helen disregarding Kevin's wish, puts the heated plate infront of him and demands him to eat, in order to keep strong and healthy. Playing with his stew Kevin looks at Rebecca, which has resumed eating with a good appetite.

Rebecca notices him looking at her instead of eating and says, "Kevin, you better eat something or you're gonna be so weak tomorrow, that I'll have to help you out of bed!" Teasingly she adds: "I bet, you don't won't that to happen!"

Jokingly Kevin replies; "No, I indeed don't want you, or any one else for that matter, helping me out of bed! Now, get off my case and I'll 'shove' some stew down my throat!"

As Kevin finishes his sentence, Will is decending the stairs looking at Kevin, measuring what damage Joan did to his mental state and mood, he sees that his son's mood has improved, yet he can still detect pain in his eyes. Eventhough Joan is sincerely sorry for what she'd said, Will is still angry at her and not able to forgive her.

As Will takes his seat at the table, Kevin's eyes filled with pain and confusion and Will's filled with anger and pity meet, Will says apologetically, "I'm sorry Kevin for going after Joan instead of you, but this time, I needed to make her aware of her actions and the emotional damage it is causing you!"

"It's okay dad, I understand. Now can we please let the subject rest!" Kevin replies snippily, looking down at his plate, as he doesn't want everybody to see how emotional he is.

Changing the subject, Rebecca asks, "Kevin, what time would you like me to come over tomorrow?"

"Um, I don't know, why don't I call you in the morning and let you know. That okay with you?" Kevin replies thoughtfully.

"Sure, fine with me and Kev, if you don't feel up to it, me visiting I mean, just let me know, I'll understand." Rebecca says smiling assuringly, giving his hand a light squeeze.

Kevin squeezes her hand gently in return. Rebecca looks at him and sees how tired he looks and says; "Kevin, I think I should head on home now. I'll speak to you tomorrow."

"Okay Rebecca, sorry for me not being too hospitable." Kevin says looking a bit ashamed.

Rebecca strokes his shoulder and says tenderly; "Don't worry about it Kevin. For what it's worth, the smile, laughter and that glimmering light in your eyes earlier on today, means a lot to me and it'll keep me coming back, hoping for them to reappear!"

Blushing, Kevin looks at her and Rebecca can't but smile. "Sorry, for now, I can't tell you, when the Kevin you saw this afternoon will reappear." He says looking down, not knowing what to do with his cropped up emotions, which are dying to get out but he won't let them, at least not for the time being, not infront of Rebecca!

"Don't worry about that Kevin, you just take care, promiss me that!" Rebecca says with a note of concern, hugging Kevin good-bye.

"I promiss Rebecca!"

Luke is getting ready to head over to Grace's, on a date to the movies. Rebecca offers him a ride, when she finds out that she practically passes Grace's house on her way home. Luke shyly accepts her offer.

As Rebecca and Luke get their things together, Kevin excuses himself and head up-stairs to his room.

"Mrs. Girardi, thank you so much for dinner, the stew was great!" Looking from Helen to Will she adds, "Kevin's a great guy, I hope you're as proud of him as I am!" Having said that, Rebecca and Luke leave the Girardi's residence and head towards her car.

On their way over to Grace's, Rebecca and Luke display their concern for Kevin and wonder how long it will take him to recouperate from the blow, Joan so unthoughtfully and maliciously gave him.

Setting- Kevin's room round about 7:45 p.m. 

After entering his room, Kevin locks the door and transfers into bed, where he lies down on his stomach and burries his head in a pillow, so that if he should cry, no one will hear him. Why, when he is just about to come to terms, with the fact that he isn't able to play base ball any more, does Joan have to bring it up and rip open the wounds that were slowly starting to heal? Why today, while he is almost as happy as before the accident, is something said, that brings him back to reality, the reality he wants to be a dream, but it isn't, as he is wide awake. Well, the upper part of him is awake, the lower part of him isn't and unless a miracle happens, it will never be awake again! Realizing this, lying alone in his room, Kevin pounds his mattress on both sides of his pillow in anger and frustration and let the tears flow freely, letting out feelings he has cropped up for much too long, mostly the feelings have to do with Joan's nasty remark and some have to do with the dealing of other aspects of his 'new' life, as he calls the time after the accident. One other aspects is neglect, as he feels neglected by his 'friends' that not once, have come to visit him after the accident! Also he feels and hates his own insecurity where girls are concerned, as he doesn't know how his body will react to intimacy and he finds it hard to hit on a girl, being in a wheel chair and not exactly the ideal guy to date, which he used to be! Also he feels insecure about his incontinence going anywhere outside the safety of his home, because he might have a mishap and wet himself and be the joke of the town!

Joan's room about 7:50 p.m. 

After her dad left her room, Joan is going over what happened in the kitchen over and over again in her mind thinking, what if she had just said this or that instead, how different things would have turned out for all of them. She knows Rebecca and Luke has left, as she heard them say good bye and she heard Kevin come up-stairs and enter his room, locking the door behind him, something which he rarely did and she knows is a bad sign. A sign that he is either depressed, hurt, frustrated or angry and even in some cases, all of the before mentioned all together, which is probably the case now! And she, Joan, is the one who has brought these emotions onto him, this time around! Oh boy, is she ever sorry, but what good does that do Kevin? She hates herself and wishes there is something, she could say or do that will take Kevin's hurt away.

Suddenly Goth God stands before her and says "Joan, thinking about what you can do or say isn't enough, you've gotta take action, or your relationship with Kevin will wither away!"

After he says that, Goth God disappears, leaving Joan stupefied.

Meanwhile in the living room 

With Joan and Kevin both up-stairs and Luke out of the house, Helen decides to confront Will about the issue, which Kevin made her aware of earlier that day.

"Will, why don't you and Kevin hang out anymore?" Helen asks her husband casually.

"Why Helen, what do we have in common these days? We certainly can't play base ball together!" Will answers a bit taken aback by Helen's question.

"Will, please there's got to be something you can do together! Why don't you suggest going with him for a walk, drive, grab a bite to eat, or go see a movie you'd both like. Anything, just as long as you hang out with him!" Helen says desperately, pleading with Will.

"Helen, why this great concern all of a sudden, for me to hang out with Kevin, has anything happened, that I don't know about?" Will asks Helen inquisitively.

Informing Will, Helen says, "I had a talk with Kevin earlier today, about how proud I am of him the big comforting brother, the writer and mostly him being our son." As she continues, tears fall from her eyes, "Will, what Kevin said next, really got to me and frankly and sadly, I can't disagree with his interprentation on the matter. He said, that I'd better leave 'our' son out of it, since that he didn't think you were proud of him being our son!"

"What in the world makes him think I'm not proud of him, certainly not his disability I hope!" Will says nervously.

"Well, I'm afraid it does boil down to that Will! He's under the impression that his disability, is what's keeping you from hanging out with him, you being ashamed to be seen with him and you not taking very many pictures of him lately, while you used to drive him crazy taking snap shots of him all the time and showing them off to your friends and colleagues! Will, he isn't seeing ghosts you know, as you haven't spent any time doing things outside the house with him since the accident, what else is he to think!" Helen says a bit accusingly.

"Oh my God, Helen, he's right, not about me being ashamed of him, but I haven't indeed spent time with him, nor taken any snap shots of him since the accident! My goodness, here I just lectured Joan about hurting Kevin's feelings and now you are telling me I'm hurting his feelings too, only not consciously. Helen, you're right, I'll think of something to do just with Kevin, make him feel that I am proud of him, being _our_ son!" Will says a bit ashamed.

Helen smiles at Will and they embrace when Helen says, "Will, please come up with something fast, as the idea that you're ashamed of him and don't accept him, now that he's a paraplegic and not a promissing base ball player, is torturing him!"

"Helen, I'll go up and see if he'll let me into his room. Maybe I can talk him into going with me, for and early walk in the park tomorrow morning.

"Thanks Will, he _is_ hurting now though, so if he doesn't let you in, it's because he's too emotional." Helen says looking at Will.

"I know Helen and if he doesn't let me in now, I'll just give it a shot later on." Will says realizing the seriousness of the matter.

Thinking about what he wants to say to his eldest son, Will gets up and heads up the stairs.

Standing in front of Kevin's room, he gathers himself a bit, before he gives the door a firm rap. He waits but there's no answer from the other side. After giving the door another firm rap, he hears a croaky voice saying "who's there?"

"Son, it's me, may I come in?" Will replies gently.

"Um, dad, can't you come back later, I'd rather be alone right now." Kevin says softly, his voice still croaky.

_Setting- Kevin's room around 8:40 p.m._

"I guess our father to son chat can wait for a while." Will replies neutrally. As he is about to walk away from the door, Will hears the familiar sound of his son's wheelchair banging against the bed frame. He waits in anticipation, wondering if Kevin will let him in after all.

He hears the key turn in the lock and the door is opened slowly by Kevin, who's face is pale and draught, eyes are red and his cheeks tear-streaked.

"Dad, I'll let you in, if you don't ask me how I'm feeling, as I really don't wanna get into that right now." Kevin says seriously in a weak, croaky voice.

"I promiss son that I won't get into emotinal stuff, as you have had your share today already!" Will replies looking Kevin straight in the eye.

Kevin moves away from the door and Will enters the room, which is only lit by a bed-side table lamp. After shutting the door, Will feeling a bit akward, as he is impossing on his son's privacy, has a seat on a chair situated next to the bed. Kevin seats himself opposite his father, he too is feeling akward, as he doesn't know what his father means, by a father to son talk and he doesn't feel comfortable with the fact that his dad can see that he's been crying. A few months ago that wouldn't have bothered him, but now he'd rather not let on to others that he does cry ever so often, about the future he has lost and the body he no longer really knows or trusts eventhough it is his, just in an altered state.

Looking at his eldest son with a serious expression, Will says: "Kevin, I just had a talk with your mom, she was under the impression, that you though I was ashamed of you and being seen with you in public, now that you're in a wheel chair and that being the reason why we haven't hung out together since the accident. Well Kevin, I'm neither ashamed of you or being seen with you. In fact I'm really proud of how you are handling yourself and dealing with your disability! Sure you've had rough times and more are likely to follow down the road, but you are stronger than any one of us would have given you credit for, as before the accident everything just came to you so effortlessly and now you even have to struggle to fit into and be accepted by society, you are working, writing great articles" Noticing Kevin's confused expression Will adds: "Yes son, I have read you articles and I am impressed by your choice of words, broad background information and writing skills! To get the information you used, you must have done some research at the library, city hall and visited a few ball games, that would have taken a lot of guts and discipline on your side, which I'm not even sure, that I would have been able to gather if I, had been in your shoes!"By the time Will finishes his speach, his eyes are gleaming with pride. Kevin listens and looks at his dad, for a given moment he is speachless.

When he does speak, his voice is trembling with emotion.

"D, d, dad you really mean that? You're proud of me? Not ashamed? Then why haven't you hung out with me after the accident?" Kevin asks Will, looking at him with a mixture of confusion and suspicion.

"Well Kevin, firstly I actually was afraid of suggesting something at the wrong moment, seeing as you have had a lot of dips the past two years, secondly I wasn't sure of what we could do, that wouldn't disillusion or upset you one way or the other, if it should prove to be out of your capabilities reach, or an establishment should prove to be inaccesible upon arrival." By the time Will is done speaking, tears are running down his cheeks, as he realizes how much Kevin's accident really has influenced their lives, consciously and un-consciously and how close they actually came to loosing Kevin after the accident, as they had been told, that upon arrival in the hospital, their son had one leg in the grave!

Looking at one another, father and son fall into an embrace and both let their tears fall freely, neither is ashamed of showing their emotions, as they are both men and don't have to prove a point, or be strong for anyone at this particular moment.

"Dad, I'm glad we had this talk now! Um, I'm hungry, you wanna go for a drive with me and grab something to eat on the way?" Kevin asks, looking expectantly at Will.

"Yeah, I'm glad too son, I really didn't want you to go on thinking, that I am ashamed of you! I'll take you up on your offer, on one condition, you let me treat you!"

"Well, I actually invited you, but hey, I'll let you have it your way!" Kevin replies jokingly, a small, weak smile appearing on his still pale, though no longer draught face.


	5. Chapter 5

It wasn't the lack of ideas but rather the lack of time which resulted in me taking so long to complete this chapter, sorry about that.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters as they weren't created by me!

June 15th may have passed and we now know that Joan of Arcadia has been axed for sure, yet in our fanfition and minds JoA lives forth as well as the inspiration and moral issues it may have raised along the way within us and people we know. As different as we all may be, this one show had us all going for the same goal; to save it and what it stood/stands for in our lives and lives of people we know or might have touched through the show, either personally or on one of the many forums or any other thinkable way!

Kevin the Comforter, Chapter 5- The Calm and the Furious

**Even later that same Saturday**.

_**Setting- Joan's room about 9:25 p.m.**_

Helen knocks on Joan's door, asking her daughter to let her in.

Joan says in a croaky voice, "Mom, go away! Leave me alone, I'm not worth the bother!"

Helen knocks on the door once more and says concernedly, "Joan, open the door, I've brought you something to drink, I don't want you dehydrating on me!"

"Oh, okay already!" Joan replies moaningly, opens the door and then has a seat on her bed.

Helen walks in with a cup of herbal tea on a platter, which she sets on Joan's bed side table, then she joins Joan on the bed, her expression serious. Joan looks as if she's ready to be lectured about her irrational behavior at the dinner table.

"Joan, how could you say something like that to Kevin? You must have known that it would hurt him really bad," Helen says to Joan in a lecturing manner.

"Mom, I am so sorry. I wish I could take back those words or turn back the time or something, anything to make it undone. What I said was really mean, yet I didn't mean to hurt Kevin's feelings. I know this is hard to believe but it's the truth, I was rambling without thinking about what I was actually saying at the time," Joan replies looking utterly remorseful, sounding earnest.

"Well, intentional or not, the result is the same. Kevin is hurting because of you, so, young lady, you better apologize to him. The sooner the better," Helen tells Joan, sounding really serious.

Joan is too emotional to speak and therefore just nods in agreement. Helen, seeing Joan's emotional state, leaves it at this and leaves her room.

In the hallway Helen almost bumps into Will and Kevin as they are exiting Kevin's room. Smiling slightly, Kevin tells his mom that they are going for a drive. Helen returns his smile and places a gentle kiss on his forhead.

"You two enjoy yourselves and drive carefully, okay, Kevin?" Helen says a bit concerned. She knows he has a lot on his mind at the moment which might distract him while driving.

"Don't worry, Mom, I'm okay to drive," Kevin replies to calm his mother's nerves.

Helen gives them both a big hug before they exit through the back door.

_**Setting- Kevin's car around 9:50 p.m.**_

"So, Dad, is there anywhere in particular you wanna go?"

"No, son, it's your call."

"Okay, I'll drive up to that old mine then, about eight miles south of here."

"Fine with me, son."

Kevin maneuvers the car over a narrow, desolated road with trees bending over it from both sides in an arch. He has driven this road many times before, though never in the dark. Now, instead of it being romantic, he finds it too creepy, with its arching trees and hills on either side, as if it seems to be embracing him, his father and the car in its dark shadows and desolation. His eyes are glued to the road, ready to take action if anything or anyone should cross it or near the car in any fashion. Suddenly, the car's engine sputters and then runs smoothly once more. When they're about a quater of a mile away from the mine, the car's engine sputters once more. Will and Kevin's eyes meet: Will's are calm and Kevin's show a mixture of confusion and uneasiness as he is thinking, 'What if the car breaks down here in the middle of nowhere? '

The car once more runs smoothly, but just when Kevin is starting to ease up, it starts hiccupping and then the engine dies.

"Oh no! Not here! Come on, don't do this to me!" Kevin cries out, slamming his hands on the steering wheel.

"Kev, stay calm. Panicking is not going help us get the car started again," Will says calmly.

"You think we could get her started again, Dad? I mean, something's gotta be wrong with the engine. The tank is close to full."

"Kevin, I'll give it a shot. Do you have a flaslight anywhere?"

"There's one in the the side pocket of your door, I think."

Reaching into the door's pocket, Will pulls out a Maglight—and to his relief it works too. Will gets out of the car and unlatches the hood, immediately discovering the problem: The radiator is leaking, which is causing the engine to overheat.

"I am sorry, son, but your radiator is leaking and I won't be able to fix it. I'll just call Helen and have her tow us back home," Will tells Kevin as he draws his cell phone from his coat pocket. As he dials their home phone number, he sees that it's already 11:15 p.m. He knows that the phone ringing at this hour will give Helen a scare, just the way it always has after Kevin's accident.

"Oh, that's just great, a busted radiator!" Kevin exclaims. He's feeling a bit uneasy, sitting in the car by himself.

"Hi, Helen, we've got a bit of a problem. The car stalled on us with a leaking radiator, about six miles due south, near a deserted mine. Is there any way you could drive over here and tow us back home?"

"Will, could you give me some directions, so that I have a clue how to get there?" Helen replies a bit uneasily.

"Helen as a cop I hate to say this, but I was so involved in my conversation with Kevin that I didn't take notice of the roads which lead us here," Will says, feeling ashamed.

"Oh well, Will, put Kevin on, I'll ask him the directions. As the driver he should know, right?" Helen says hopefully.

"I certainly hope so. Here he is, Helen," Will says as he hands the phone over to his son, through the open passenger door window.

"Hi Mom. Well, you want the directions over here? You better write it down, it's not that easy to remember, I think."

Helen leaves the kitchen to get pen and paper from the living room and then tells Kevin to give her the directions. Indeed, the directions are too plentiful to remember, and Helen has no idea where this mine is, on top of that it's pitch dark outside. Helen asks Kevin if Luke knows about the mine, but the answer is negative. She forgets to ask if there's anyone else that might know about the mine's location and Kevin is too nervous to even think along those paths.

_**Setting- The Girardi's kitchen at 11:25 p.m.**_

Joan, lying on her bed, then sleeping, then crying, hears that something is wrong by the tone of her mother's voice and the fact that the phone rang this late. Wanting to know what's going on, she goes downstairs where she finds her mother with her coat on, looking tense and agitated.

"Mom, what's going on?" Joan inquires worriedly. 

"Will and Kevin are stuck in the middle of nowhere in Kevin's car, which broke down!" Helen replies, obviously not her calm and collected self.

"Mom, do you have any idea where this old mine is?" Luke inquires.

"No, Luke, I have absolutely no idea, I even wonder if I can find it in the dark with the directions Kevin gave me," Helen replies, a bit out of control.

"I've been there with Kevin a few times to enjoy the view and a burger, I know how to get there," Joan says matter-of-factly, not realizing the importance of her words and knowledge of the mine's existence and location.

The first thought that comes to Helen's mind is that Kevin probably won't appreciate Joan tagging along, since her words from earlier that day must still be hurting him.

As if Joan can read her mother's mind, she says: "Mom, I'll get in the back seat, show you the way to the mine, and once we are there, I'll lie down flat. That way Kevin won't have to face me, okay?" Then she looks at her mother questioningly.

"Joan, are sure that you know the road to that mine, even in the dark?" Helen asks, looking at her daughter with a bit of awe in her expression.

"Yeah, I know how to find it. I went up there once with Adam after dark." Realizing what she has just said, she covers her mouth and quickly adds, "Oh, just to show him the view, nothing more than that, I swear." Joan looks at her mother with a serious expression, while inside she feels very tense. What if her mother doesn't believe her?

"Oh, just hop in, Joan! We'll talk on the way over there," Helen says, hurrying Joan into the back seat. Luke locks the front door and then gets into the passenger seat.

_**Setting- Kevin's stalled car, about 11:35 p.m.**_

Kevin scolds himself for feeling so uneasy, yes, even scared. Okay, so the car stalled in the middle of nowhere in the dark, but his dad is with him and is sitting right next to him. Knowing his dad, he is carrying his loaded service pistol, so what is there to be afraid of? Kevin can't come up with a logical answer, yet the feeling remains, and it gnaws at him.

Will looks over at his eldest son and notices that he is a bit scared. He puts a comforting arm around him, pulls him closer in an awkward but well meant hug and says, "Don't worry, Kevin, we'll be alright here in this car until Helen arrives."

"I just hope she can find this place without getting lost. The first three times I drove up here, I ended up taking wrong turns and had to head back in order to find this dirt road we're now sitting on. Along with the other two dirt roads in this area, this road doesn't have a name nor a number. That, on top of the darkness, could get mom lost," Kevin says seriously, looking at his dad worriedly.

In answer, Will, who still has an arm around Kevin, strokes his left shoulder affectionately and pulls Kevin towards him so that Kevin's head rests on his father's left shoulder. His dad's nearness has a positive effect on Kevin's high strung nerves, the uneasiness slips away from him bit by bit.

Will then tells Kevin that they should try and turn the car, so that it's facing in the opposite direction. For when Helen comes, all they have to do is hook the two cars up and they can start the trip home. Kevin agrees, and, following his dad's instructions, he turns the wheel to the left and right as his father pushes the car. About 15 minutes later they have it pointing in the direction they want: homeward.

_**Setting the Girardi's family car, round about 11:40 p.m.**_

"In which direction do I head, Joan?" Helen asks her daughter.

"For the time being, just head south," Joan replies with a sigh, as she thinks about the mess she's in with Kevin and her telling her mom that she's been to what she calls 'the point' with Adam after dark.

"So, Joan, you really just enjoyed the view with Adam, nothing else?" Helen asks sternly, looking in the rearview mirror at Joan.

"Yes, Mom, all we did was check out the view, it's really beautiful with the city's lights beneath you and the stars up above," Joan tells her mother convincingly.

"I guess I'll just have to take your word for it, Joan, as I have other things on my mind than two light blankets embracing me. That's what the view sounds like to me," Helen says, giving in because she can't prove if Joan is telling the truth or not.

"Mom, what a nice way to word it, 'embraced by blankets of light'. It sounds like something out of a poem. Are you sure you just came up with that?" Joan asks enthusiastically.

"Joan, I have other things on my mind right now than whether something I said sounds poetic or not. I have to try and find Kevin's car in the dark somewhere, and only you know how to get there. Sorry for saying so, but that scares me, Joan!" Helen replies sarcastically.

With a bit of self-irony, Joan replies "I know. I'm not known for my great sense of direction, but I did drive up to 'the point' myself once after having been there with Kevin, maybe that should reassure you."

"Okay, there's a crossroad ahead, which road do I take?" Helen asks hurridly.

"Just go straight and at the next intersection you take the road to the right," Joan replies. Suddenly she realizes that she is the only one that can lead them to Kevin and their dad. That makes her feel important, but it also gives her the creeps. She feels the weight of the responsibility on her shoulders.

After making a right turn at the next intersection, Helen once again asks Joan for instructions. Joan guides her onto a road which seems to lead them into the countryside. After they have been on this road for what seems like ages—which actually was a mere 15 minutes—they hit upon a dirt road. Helen remembers both Kevin and Will telling her that they were stranded on a dirt road, therefore she assumes this is it. Still, when they come to a point where the road splits into three different branches, she can feel her heart beating in her throat in excitement and something close to panic.

"Joan, which of these three roads lead to the mine?" Helen asks and Joan detects an uneasiness she connects with Kevin, the accident and the hospital, which she didn't expect to hear sitting in the car, with nothing working against them except for the dark.

"Mom, the left one leads to the mine," Joan says confidently.

After having driven on the given road for a few miles, Helen starts to doubt if Joan remembers correctly. It seems to bring them further away from the heart of the mountain, and to her it seems illogical that a mine would be situated outside the mountain's core.

Luke doesn't say a word as they drive along the winding, dark road with trees that seem to claw at their car as it moves along slowly due to the road's horrible condition. He is scared that their car too will break down as he feels that the road is pulling at it, wanting to tear it apart. He feels sorry for his dad and brother who have been stuck on this spooky road for such a long time. He turns his head to look at Joan, to see if she really knows if they are on the right road or not, but she just sits there looking straight ahead, seemingly confident.

Catching Luke looking back at her, she gives him a faint, somewhat nervous smile. Luke immediately interprets this as her not really knowing if they're on the right track or not, while Joan actually is nervous about staying out of sight as soon as Kevin's car emerges infront of them somewhere along this very road.

Helen too doesn't like this road, it gives her a creepy feeling. She hopes and prays that they find her eldest son and husband really fast. She wants to get off this road as soon as possible. She can only try to imagine how Will and Kevin feel, stuck on this road in a stalled car, waiting for her to arrive and tow them back home. Just thinking about them sitting there in the dark gives her goosebumps and sends cold shivers down her spine. The darkness of the road and an inexplicable feeling of evil surrounding them is getting to her.

Helen doesn't understand her feelings; she is usually too grounded to let anything get to her and give her imagination a booster in a direction not connected to art. Helen just hopes that the darkness, creepiness and the long wait hasn't taken too much toll on Kevin's already unstable emotional conditon. Hopefully Will takes this opportunity to talk to their son and make him feel that they are in this together. It crosses Helen's mind that this might even have happened for that very reason: Will and Kevin getting closer, sharing this experience and really having some time to themselves where there is no one to disturb them.

Joan's eyes are glued to the road ahead, she is certain that she directed her mother onto the right road, if only for the reason she has seen and felt a few familiar bends and bumps in the road as they drove uphill and then downhill. She is thinking about how different this drive is, compared to the time she drove up here, sitting behind the wheel with Adam next to her. That time the darkness and the desolation of this road alongside Adam's presence had given it something romantic. Now she feels queer, as if someone is watching them, ready to grab them and the car all at once and cast them away. Oh, why doesn't God show up at a time like this instead of in the crowded school hallway or anywhere else where she feels safe? A feeling of relief washes over Joan, as she hears Cute Guy God's voice warning her about a fallen tree on the road ahead of them, Joan whispers to him "Thank you for showing up, now that I needed you."

"Joan, tell your mother to watch out. She will have to steer around a fallen tree in about a minute or so."

Joan opens her eyes, shocked. The seat next to her is still empty. She shakes her head, wondering if what she just heard was real or only in her mind.

Throwing all caution to the wind at her indulging in possible schizophrenic moods, she thinks,

"Better safe than sorry.' To her mom she says, "Mom, I think you should look out for fallen trees, there's often trees and branches blocking the road out here."

As Joan's words are ebbing away, a fallen tree can be seen, blocking half of the road. Helen steers around it and then glances at her daughter in the rearview mirror and asks her how come she mentioned the tree at this exact moment, if she remembered it from the previous time she was up there?

Joan just shakes her head and says, "No, God just enlightened me about it."

At this reply, Helen just rolls her eyes but doesn't say anything.

_**Setting- Kevin's stalled car Sunday, 12:25 a.m. **_

By now Kevin and Will are both getting impatient, as it has been more than an hour since the car stalled and Will called Helen and gave her their position. Will is keeping calm, even though he does feel Kevin's building tension. In order to try to calm his son's nerves, Will reaches for his hand and strokes it gently. At this gesture, Kevin looks over at his dad and their eyes meet.

"Kevin, Helen and Luke will be here soon, so don't fret, okay, son?"

Wearily, Kevin says, "Dad, Mom doesn't have a clue as to where we are. If we're lucky, she'll find us at sunset."

"Kevin, please look on the bright side, at least now we get to spend some time alone and there's no one around to interrupt our conversations," Will says, managing to sound light-hearted, even though he is just as concerned as Kevin about Helen finding them any time soon.

Will puts an arm around Kevin and gently draws him nearer. Kevin doesn't resist and puts his head on his father's chest who strokes his hair fondly. Amazingly enough, this calms Kevin's nerves as he fals asleep a few minutes later. Will listens to his eldest son's regular breathing, and soon he too falls asleep.

When Kevin and Will hear a soft tapping on the passenger side door, they both jerk awake and nervously look where the sound might be coming from. They see a face, but neither recognizes it immediately, their minds are still too groggy with sleep. Then they hear the voice belonging to the face and yell out "Luke!" simultaneously. They had found them after all here in the dark, in the middle of nowhere, what a miracle! Wondering what time it is, Will glances at his cell phone, which tells him that it is now 1:05 a.m. By the moving ray of light, he can make out that Helen is turning the family car around, so he gets out of the car, embraces Luke and then heads over to Helen, embracing her as well. Will and Luke then hook up the two cars. Meanwhile Helen walks briskly over to the driver's side where Kevin has already opened the door. Mother and son embrace while they both exchange I-love-you's and let their tears of relief fall freely.

With awe Kevin asks, "Mom, how did you ever find us?"

Helen answers, "Well, it wasn't easy, I can tell you that much, but we're here now and that's what matters." Motherly, she adds, "Now it's time to head home. It's way past your, my and everybody else's bed time." She then smiles at Kevin and gently strokes his cheek, Kevin in return smiles fondly at his mother. When Will returns to Kevin's car, Helen leaves and takes a seat behind the wheel of the family car. The long way home can begin.

When Helen pulls into their street at 3:35, she tells Joan to wait in the car until Kevin heads towards the back of the house and then she can enter through the front door and make for her room as fast as she can. Joan wearily nodds her head in reply, She just awoke after sleeping all the way home.

Once she enters the house, Joan runs up the stairs and into her room. She has barely shut the door when she hears the wooden boards of the back door ramp creaking underneath Kevin's weight. Out of breath, she throws herself onto the bed and lies there, listening as the others enter the house. She hears chairs being pulled away from the kitchen table as she hears the murmer of her family's voices. She can picture them sipping at mugs of hot cocoa as they talk about the evening/night's nerve-racking events.

Drained from the long day, the rest of the Girardis hit the sack 15 minutes later, except for Helen, who first checks on Joan, tucking her in and giving her a gentle, yet affectionate peck on the cheek. She then checks on Kevin and inquires about the pain she sees in his eyes. He replies that those hours in the worn out seat of his car hasn't done his back much good and that it is now hurting. He further informs his mother that he has just taken a pain killer which will make him pain-free and groggy enough to sleep for 4-6 hours at least. Helen then strokes her eldest son's hair and gives him a love-filled, gentle kiss on the forehead before she gets into bed, leaning heavily against the head board.

She tells Will, that Joan showed her the way to the point where Kevin's car had broken down. She explains how Joan knew the way, having been there on several occasions with him, and once alone with Adam. Will looks at Helen quizzically and then asks her how come he hadn't seen Joan in the car or her entering the house upon arrival. Helen explains that Joan was lying down on the back seat, so as to not upset Kevin any more than she had already done. She had entered the house while Will unhooked the two cars and Kevin was making his way around the back of the house. Joan had then headed straight for her room.

Soon after Helen left his room, Kevin falls asleep from exhaustion as well as the side-effect of the pain killer.

Luke lies awake for a while, thinking about the day that has passed—somehow it seem like a dream. Kevin finally has a girlfriend and, for the first time since the accident, they are able to hear his hearty laughter which they all so loved and missed. She stays over for dinner and then Joan says something so mean to Kevin that she spoils his great mood. Kevin and their dad go for a drive to hang out together, which they haven't done in ages. And then Kevin's old, beat-up car stalls in the middle of nowhere, and ironically the only person that can lead them to Kevin and their dad is Joan. Neither their dad nor Kevin know that Joan is the one that led him and his mom to that desolate place, and for now she wants to keep it that way to not confront Kevin with Joan.

_**Setting- Kevin's and Joan's room early that Sunday morning.**_

Kevin is having a nightmare, where he is sitting in the sand next to his stalled car in the middle of a steaming hot desert. He doesn't know how he got there. Joan is screaming at him from inside the car at the top of her lungs that she can't open the door because the locks are jammed by the anti-car jacker mechanism. He can't for the life of him figure out why she is there with him. They haven't been on speaking terms since Joan made that stupid comment involving a book a week ago, which hurt his feelings badly.

Then he smells burning rubber and realizes that the rear end of the car is on fire. Oh no, Joan! She can't get out! Desperately, Kevin tries to open the door on the driver's side, but it won't budge. He looks around for something he can use to bust one of the rear windows with, but doesn't find anything. As the flames draw nearer to him, Kevin backs away from his car on his arms, his legs trailing behind the rest of his body. He is in shock as he witnesses the flames' greediness and destruction as they engulf his car with his precious little sister in it. He has never felt as helpless, useless or guilty as he does now because he is able to escape the flames and Joan is gone.

Kevin wakes up, bathing in sweat, with tears running down his cheeks from puffed, blood-shot eyes. He turns on the bedside table lamp and then, with the help of the trapeze, sits up in bed. Glancing at the alarm clock, he learns that it's 8:41 a.m. He shifts his body from his back onto the left side and goes back to sleep where he ends up in the same dream, though at a later stage. He now finds himself at Joan's funeral, sitting, looking down a huge, deep hole as the white casket containing the remains of his sister is lowered into it. Tears flow from his eyes and he doesn't try to hide them. Helen puts a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Looking around him, Kevin sees the sorrowful faces of Friedman, Grace, Adam, Glynis, Luke, all his aunts and uncles, his grandparents and his parents and some people he doesn't know—which he assumes are teachers from school and the owner of the bookstore where Joan worked. Suddenly, he realizes how many people actually loved his weird subdefective sister; he can't but help wonder how many people would have shown up if this had been his funeral. Once more he wakes up, his cheeks and eyes wet from crying and glances over his right shoulder. The alarm clock tells him that it's 9:07 a.m.

As Kevin wheels himself away from the table for the umpteenth time, Joan is tossing and turning in her sleep. As Joan once again jumps over her fallen chair and runs after Kevin, who locks himself in the garage. The scene changes to that of a dark road, Joan is guiding her mother to 'the point' where they'll find her dad and Kevin. Each time they end up taking the wrong road and Joan is getting desperate. She knows the way, but somehow her directions keep them going in circles. Soon sweat is causing her nighty to cling to her body and her hair to plaster against her head and face. With a jerk she sits up straight in bed, turns on the bedside table lamp and in a daze she heads for the bathroom to wash the sweat off.

Before she heads back to her room, Joan walks over to her older brother's room. She knows he's awake because a ray of light escapes from a crack underneath the door where the threshold used to be. He never sleeps with the light on. With her heart throbbing in her throat, Joan soundlessly pulls down the handle on his door. To her surprise, it's not locked. As slowly as she can, she opens the door far enough to enter.

She finds Kevin lying in bed with his back to her. From where she is standing, she can see that he's crying; his body is shaking. When she takes a few steps in his direction, she can hear him crying as well. For a moment, she stands there motionless, wondering how to approach her older brother. She knows he won't appreciate her company. She decides to halt a few feet away from his bed and let him know that she is there by softly calling out his name.

When she does so, Kevin turns around with red, puffy eyes and cheeks. He yells at her to leave his room pronto!

Shaken by his angry outburst, Joan stumbles backwards, falling over her own feet. Joan looks up at Kevin lying on the bed. When their gazes meet, she finds a hate-filled look on his face instead of the smile she expected her clumsiness to provoke.

Though Joan would like to leave Kevin's room that minute, she sits down on the floor as to demonstrate that she won't be scared off this time around. "Kevin, I won't leave this room until I have said what I wanna say to you, about the incident yesterday. So the sooner you hear me out, the sooner I'll leave you alone," Joan says determinedly.

Kevin's expression shows even more anger than it did a few moments earlier. Without saying a word, he transfers into his shower chair, passes her, enters his bathroom and locks the door. Joan is left behind in a daze, which she hopes is a nightmare and not reality. How is she ever going to be able to apologize to Kevin if he won't listen to her?

While she's staring at the closed bathroom door, she detects a presence out of the corner of her right eye. It's Goth God.

"Joan, you landed yourself in a mess this time around. You have got to find a way to apologize to Kevin, or your relationship is unmendable."

"How? You saw how he just went past me and locked himself in the bathroom!"

"Just search your inner self for the answer, I can't tell you more than that." Goth God leaves with yet another annoying wave over his shoulder.

Joan gets up from the floor and throws herself onto Kevin's bed. Unintentionally, she gives the room a look over. Normally the room is spotless. Kevin keeps it neat as to not immobilize himself more than necessary. Now, though, it looks like he doesn't care one way or another. Clothes are scattered over the floor along with shoes and books. Joan starts to pick up Kevin's mess. That's the least she can do for him.

She reaches for a book that's half hidden underneath Kevin's bookshelf. When she picks it up, a few notepad sheets fall out of it. On the first sheet she reads in Kevin's big, yet neat handwriting: 'Of Mice and Men' notes Chapter One. As Joan holds the book and notes in question, she is losing it bit by bit. Why, oh why hasn't she kept her smart mouth shut? Now she is full of feelings of guilt, self-hatred and sympathy for Kevin. And she doesn't even know if he will ever forgive her. If only she could forgive herself—she realizes she had drawn a wrong conclusion. Maybe he had let Luke do a lot of school work for him in order to stay eligible for baseball, but this _one_ book he had read himself, and he had at least made an effort on a report too, the multiple notes in her hand was evidence of that.

_**Setting- Girardi residence between 11:00 and 11:30 a.m. **_

Will leaves for work and Helen has an appointment with Lily, a former nun at the local lunch room. Luke leaves with Grace to go swimming in a nearby pool, leaving Joan and Kevin alone in the house.

Joan comes out of the bathroom, toweling her hair which she just washed. Curiously, she hovers near Kevin's door, waiting to catch a chance to talk to him, like God suggested. When she doesn't hear any sounds, she goes into her room to change into proper clothes.

In his room, Kevin holds the copy of 'Of Mice and Men' that Joan has found this morning and leafs through the notes that slipped out. He doesn't even remember having read this novel. Must have been years ago, maybe in eighth or ninth grade. When he hears Joan near his door, he freezes in mid-motion. He holds his breath and releases it only after Joan has moved away again.

Taking the opportunity of Joan's brief absence, he quickly opens the door of his room and wheels over to the stairs to transfer into his lift. But when he does, his hand slips from the handle and he loses his balance and keels over, helplessly tumbling down the stairs.

As Kevin lies there at the bottom of the stairs, unconscious, Joan comes running out of her room at the sudden, unfamiliar noise. She lets out a scream and runs to where Kevin lies. She lightly touches his face and says his name, but Kevin doesn't budge. In a state close to hysteria, she calls 911, asking for an ambulance and begs the operator to have them hurry. She doesn't want her brother to die! While Joan waits for the ambulance to arrive, the operator keeps her on the line and gives her instructions as to get some of Kevin's vital signs, which she then passes on to the EMTs on their way over to the Girardi's residence. The ambulance arrives just 10 minutes after Joan has placed the call.

While the EMTs takes care of Kevin, Joan watches them, biting her nails in a nervous frenzy. She is so afraid that he'll never wake up again and he'll die hating her. They put him on a gurney and transport him out of the house into the ambulance. As there's no place for her in the ambulance, Joan decides to take the bus over to the hospital, which is a 15 minute ride away from their home. Just after she gets on the bus, Goth God draws her attention. He lets on that she should have used a different approach at apologizing to Kevin, but that she will have her chance during a short time span in the hospital and she should use it wisely.

"Will Kevin be all right?" Joan asks worriedly, tears running down her cheeks.

"It depends what you call all right, Joan." Goth God gets off the bus and leaves Joan to her worries.

The rest of the ride, she thinks about what He said to her on the bus about the apology she has to make to Kevin and His none too soothing answer to her question wether Kevin would be all right or not.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Kevin the Comforter - Chapter 6 - Lonesome Joan**_

**Setting- The hospital Sunday, around noon.**

An hour has passed since Kevin has been brought to the hospital. Joan is pacing back and forth in the waiting room area, waiting for a doctor to come and inform her about Kevin's condition and whether he will be okay or not—after they were done taking and analyzing the x-rays of his head and body.

One of the nurses walks up to Joan and asks her if she would like to phone her parents. Joan nods weakly in reply and the nurse leads her to a phone at the nurse's station. Joan is getting desperate as on the third try, she still has not been able to reach either of her parents, Luke or Grace on their cell phones.

She then calls Adam and is immensely grateful when she hears it ringing instead of connecting her to his voicemail. An out of breath Adam answers the phone on the 5th ring. Joan is so happy to hear his voice that she talks on top of her voice and at lightning speed, leaving Adam both deaf, dizzy and none the wiser as to what she is telling him. Joan goes on babbling for a couple of minutes, before Adam is able to ask her what she is talking about. When she tells him the second time, she is a bit calmer, but her voice is high pitched and nerve racking.

Adam can only make out that Kevin is in the hospital, he is clueless as to what landed him there. Joan tells Adam that she cannot get a hold of anyone else in the family. She tells him that Luke is at Grace's, and asks Adam if he could possibly go over there and then accompany them to the hospital. Having heard Joan out, Adam tells her that he cannot inform Luke or Grace or accompany them to the hospital, because he is visiting a college 3 hours away from Arcadia, along with his dad.

Joan then says, "I'm so stupid! I knew you had an interview at a college today. Being so worried about Kevin, I guess I forgot. Sorry, Adam, for worrying you needlessly."

"Cha. No problem, Jane. I hope Kevin will be okay and you too, Jane!"

"Thanks for caring, Adam. I gotta go, the doctor is here to see me. Bye, Adam."

"Bye, Jane."

The doctor approaching her is a grumpy, middle aged man with a weary look on his face.

He introduces himself as Dr. Atkinson.

"I'm Joan Girardi. Is my brother going to be all right?" she asks him.

"Miss Girardi, your brother's unconsciousness was due to a blow to the head, which he sustained during the fall. A CAT scan shows that he has a heavy concussion, but there's no permanent damage. We closed his head wound with a few stitches and he should come around as soon as the anesthetic wears off."

Before doctor Atkinson is able to proceed, Joan hysterically butts in,

"Anesthetic, you mean you had to operate!"

"Please calm down, Miss Girardi. We had to operate on his right arm in order to set the fracture. He will have to be in a cast for six weeks. After that, with some physical therapy, he should be able to have full use of his arm. Your brother is in the recovery room, you may see him now if you'd like."

Doctor Atkinson looks at Joan for a reaction, who slowly nods her head. He walks over to a room further down the hall, opens the door and tells Joan that she may stay with her brother as long as she would like. Before he leaves, Doctor Atkinson asks Joan for her home phone number and the one of her parents' cell phones. He will have a nurse ring her parents and tell them where they are.

"Thanks, Doctor Atkinson, for taking care of my brother and phoning our parents."

"You are welcome, Miss Girardi." With that, he closes the door and leaves her alone with Kevin and a nurse.

Joan says, "Hi, I'm Joan Girardi, Kevin's sister."

"Hi, I'm Cynthia. Would you like some time alone with your brother?"

In reply, Joan nods.

"I'll be down the hall at the nurse's station. If you have any questions, just press this button and I'll come back in here."

Feeling odd about calling an older person she doesn't know by her first name, Joan just says "Thank you." The nurse gives her a weak smile and leaves, shutting the door behind her to give them some privacy.

Joan walks over to Kevin's bed, leans over him and whispers his name, just in case he is still asleep. Slowly, Kevin opens his eyes. For a moment he focuses on Joan. She can see the pain in his eyes—and the disgust. He doesn't like having to face her in such a vulnerable position. Kevin winces, then grabs his forehead with his left arm since he feels a sharp pain, as if some one is driving knives through his head again and again.

"You fell down the stairs and bumped your head, that's why you have a headache. The doctors stitched you up." Kevin then fumbles to find the stitches.

Semi-sarcastically, Joan adds "Don't worry, the scar, if any, will be covered by your hair." Seeing Kevin's confused expression due to her 'reading' his mind, she gives him a weak smile.

"Kevin, I'm so sorry you broke your arm." She gives him a sympathetic smile—she knows what that means: He will be dependent on others until his arm is healed.

As Joan's words sink in, Kevin snippily says, "I don't need your sympathy. Why are you here? Why not mom and dad?"

"I was there when you fell. You do remember that, don't you?" Joan asks worriedly, wondering if he has lost his short term memory.

"Yeah, I remember you stalking me _in my room_, then following me to the stairs. Now I wake up in this room—and here you are. So now that you have me cornered, you have achieved your goal. So say what you have to say and then leave!" Kevin says sarcastically.

A bit taken aback, Joan stammers, "I know this won't help heal the wounds I inflicted, but I am truly sorry." Joan cries in remorse as well as shame, she feels Kevin's emotional pain. "I have caused you so much pain, which I wish I could take back. You're such a perfect big brother—protecting me, comforting me—and what do I do in return? Hurt your feelings!" As Joan casts a tearful glance at Kevin, she adds, "I am so sorry." She then hurries out of the room.

Here I am, alone in the silence of this hospital room with a gigantic headache, my only visitor is the person which landed me here in the first place—my little sister, who at the moment is una persona non grata. However, my worst concern is for the broken arm, which Joan pointed out to me—with one arm I can neither transfer myself, dress myself, nor wash myself, so I guess I'm dependent on my family, just like when I came home from the rehab center. So I guess that kinda means that I'm back to square one.

I start feeling a bit woozy. Next thing I know, someone is gently stroking my hand, a stranger is calling my name, asking me to open my eyes. My eyelids feel really heavy, yet I somehow manage to open my eyes. When I look up, I see the nurse that was in here earlier to check on me. She's not alone—to my dismay, Joan is standing next to her, she's the one stroking my hand. I pull my hand back—with a surprised look on her face and tear-filled eyes she lets go of it as if she's been struck by lightning. Then she rushes out of the room, once more leaving me alone with the room's silence and my ever spinning thoughts which seems to get me no where. I want Mom and Dad, that I _do_ know, but as Joan keeps on popping in, they probably haven't arrived yet.

Meanwhile, Joan is making a path in the linoleum in the hallway outside of Kevin's room with her pacing. She doesn't like the thought of him being alone, but he has made it clear that her presence is not wanted. It is now 4:10 pm and their parents, Luke and Grace are all still unreachable, which adds to Joan's uneasiness about Kevin being in the hospital as that too is her fault. After all, Kevin fell when he tried to make a quick get-away from her—by going down stairs and he lost his concentration as well as hold and fell down the stairs. Kevin already hated her, now Mom, Dad and Luke would hate her too for her involvement in this accident. Boy, had she ever been in bigger trouble?

Should I give it one more try? I mean, besides the nurse, he is all alone in that room. Who am I kidding anyway? If I went in there to see Kevin, it would be for my own benefit, not his. After all, he has shown that he'd rather be alone than have me for company. My concern for Kevin is nagging at me, yet I can't make myself enter his room once more, just to feel his hatred towards me. How I wish thinks were normal between the two of us! What is 'normal' anyway? Well, him hating me is abnormal, that is the only thing I can conclude, as my brain isn't ready to discuss the meaning of a normal relationship between me and my older brother at this moment. I actually wish that God would show up, then at least I could have a conversation with someone else besides myself. People thought I was crazy, saying that I talked to God, what would they think if they knew I was having discussions with myself? I guess I would have to go straight back to crazy camp then. No! No more crazy camp for me!

Suddenly I feel a gentle tug at my shoulder, it's one of the nurses from the nurse's station. She asks me if I am okay since she has called my name a few times and I haven't answered. I tell her that I'm fine. She then tells me that they have finally gotten hold of our parents and that they are on their way. I ask her if she knows where they've been, but she hasn't asked and they haven't told her. I really need some sugar or I'll faint, therefore I walk over to a vending machine and, for once, get myself a regular Coke. I sit down on the bench closest to Kevin's room to wait for our parents' arrival—which is a drag with all these goofy thoughts spinning around in my head. At least God could show up to make time pass quicker and make me less miserable, but I guess I don't fit into to Her/His/Its schedule today.

When our parents, Luke and Grace arrive some 20 minutes later, they ask me where they can find Kevin. I point to the door to the right of me and say, "He's in there." The four of them rush into the room, leaving me alone in the hallway. Somehow I think Grace would come back out and ask me to join them, but she doesn't do anything of the sort, nor anyone else, for that matter. I can't remember ever feeling this lonely in my entire life before.


	7. Chapter 7

**Kevin the Comforter **

**Chapter 7- Back to Square One**

Setting- The Girardi residence, later that Saturday 

When the Girardis returned home, after picking up Kevin and Joan in the hospital, Will helped a worn out Kevin into bed. He then ordered a pizza dinner, as Helen was too emotional to cook and she didn't trust Joan in the kitchen. Joan couldn't blame her, as once- forgetting that she had pop tarts in the toaster- she had almost burned down the house! As Joan felt the tension, when they ate pizza infront of the TV, she had put another slice onto her plate, excused herself and gone up to her room. After about 10 minutes, there was a knock on her door, it was Helen. Joan had known that she would come up sooner or later to rant on her- she guessed that now, was as good a time as any.

"Joan, we need to have a serious talk about what happened today, which led up to Kevin's…um.. .fall" Helen said, as she gave Joan a sad look.

Sighing Joan said; "You probably couldn't careless right now but I am really sorry for all the pain that I've caused Kevin and the rest of you guys. So rant on me all you like, because I sure deserve it!"

"Well I sure didn't come here to pay you a complementary visit!" Helen replied sarcastically.

Angrily she continued; "Did you think, that because his door wasn't locked you had the right to go in there? Intruding upon his personal space and privacy, you expected him to listen to your feeble excuse? Joan honestly, I thought you were smarter than that." When she looked at Joan, her expression was one of utter disappointment.

Joan felt the tears running down her cheeks- as Helen's words and the fact that she was disappointed in her sunk in.

Sniffling Joan said "Mom, I'm so sorry. I'm just _so_ stupid! _Now_, I see that following Kevin, was so _not_ the way to mend our relationship! Mom, how- if ever possible, can I make up with Kevin?"

Helen sighed and shook her head sadly before she answered Joan's question. "I guess time heals all wounds… including this one. During the healing time-period however, I wouldn't expect too much friendliness from Kevin. If not entirely necessary- I wouldn't get too close to him if I were you, as the friction already existing between the two of you, is quite enough as it is!"

As Helen spoke, Joan cried her heart out, as she for one- couldn't help thinking about Kevin, which layed on his bed with a broken arm, a broken heart and was dependent on the rest of the family- Secondly she had detected a weary look on Helen's face and realized what agony she had brought to her family- which had already suffered so much since Kevin's accident that it was a wonder, that they functioned as people and as a family. Well the four of them were functioning- as she momentarily found herself to be disfunctioning on all levels.

Helen, made matters worse for Joan emotionally, as she told her that she still loved her- she just wished , that Joan wouldn't be such a troublemaker

Ah duh! That's gotta be the understatement of the century! Joan though to herself.

Helen silently picked up the plate, with the half eaten pizza slice on it and left Joan's room.

As she sat in voluntary silence and involuntary solitude Joan felt lost, in the sence- that she didn't know what was appropriate behavior and she wanted to ommit, that she dug an even deeper grave for herself.

Before she knew it, words blurted out of her mouth. "I'm just too darn stupid to be alive. God I need your guiding hand _right _now!"

Goth God showed up.

"Joan, you have an C- average for English, I know you have read the story which you will be tested on more than once, but in addition- I want you to ask your mother to go over it with you tomorrow, just to make sure that you do get a good grade on it."

"Oh boy, you want me to ask my mom! This is so not a good idea. You know she and every one else in this house, isn't all too pleased with me right now? Not that I blame 'em- you know… after all I've done wrong and everything."

Goth God left with one of those waves that Joan had grown to dislike over the years as, it meant that she wouldn't get any answers.

Joan went down stairs to get herself a glass of milk before she went to bed. She found her mother sitting at the kitchen table- alone. Timidly she asked her mother, if she would go over the story with her tomorrow which they would be tested on on Monday. Helen had given her a weak smile and had agreed to help her, though not tomorrow- but straight away, as she couldn't sleep anyways.

Joan had gone up to her room and gotten her literature book out of her backpack. Mother and daugther barely spoke at more than a whisper as they went over the story time after time. They stopped when Joan and Helen both, felt confident that she would pass the test.

_**Setting: The Girardi residence, Sunday around noon.**_

Joan punched in Adam's phone number on her cell phone.

"Hi Adam, it's Joan."

"Oh hi Jane."

Hearing some strange back ground noices, Joan inquires; "Adam what are you doing?"

"I'm in the shed working on a new sculpture."

"Oh, that's great! By the way- are you ready for tomorrow's English test?"

"I guess so. Cha."

"Well, I've never been more ready for a test in my life! I've read the story several times and mom went over it with me as well, until I knew every tiny detail."

"Wow Jane, that's great. That should bring your grade up for sure."

"Yeah. It should. If not- I'll never do any more reading or studying in my life again!"

Helen called Joan for lunch.

"Sorry Adam, I've gotta go, mom just called me for lunch. Things being the way they are, I don't wanna keep her waiting."

"I understand. See you tomorrow Jane."

"Bye Adam." Quickly she added a serious- "I love you Adam!"

Automatically Adam said "I love you too Jane." Joan blamed his automatic answer- on him being pre-occupied with his new art project.

Joan went down stair where her parents were already seated at the kitchen table. Luke was nowhere to be seen- she assumed that he was spending time with Grace. Helen passed the plate with French toast around the table- Joan felt the same tension, as she had felt when they had been eating pizza the day before, yet this time she remained seated. When they all had had enough, Will was the first one to excuse himself from the table. Joan soon after heard sounds from the livingroom, which indicated that he was watching TV. Joan and Helen sat in silence for awhile, each pre-occupied with their own thoughts. Then Helen had gotten up from the table, heated some milk in the micro wave and gone up the stairs to Kevin's room. Sitting alone at the table, lost in her own thoughts- Joan felt lost, lonesome,useless but mostly depressed- why did there have to be so much agony in this world? What was the purpose of life, if suffering was all that there was to it? Why had she ended up being such a brainless sub-defective? All these questions and no asnwers, how cruel life could be.

Joan decided to go outside for a walk- anything was better than staying in this tension laden house all day! Barely out side the house, Joan bumped into Dog Walking God. He asked her to walk with Him, reluctantly Joan agreed.

Out of the blue He said "Joan, there is a purpose to everything in life. You might see it as suffering- when actually it's a life lesson, it's something that will help you solve, problems- as you people call them, which you may come across as an adult- believe me, when I say that the world will often be harsher and more demanding than it is now that you're merely a teenager."

"Oh great! As if I wasn't already thinking, that the world was a cruel place and that life was lousy- You tell me that things'll only get worse! Well thanks for cheering me up!" Joan said sarcastically.

"I am not here to cheer you up Joan- that would take a miracle and I don't work that way, you know that. I'm here to help you grow and make choices that will better your life, as well as the lives many others- the snowball effect of your choices, work far beyond your imagination."

Almost screaming Joan replied; "Oh so now You're telling me that my choices affect people's lives? Now You really screwed me up! I can't handle such a responsibility, You know that- just look at the suffering I'm causing my own family! You mean, that I bring suffering to people I don't even know! Do You!"

In a soothing voice Dog Walking God said; "Joan, calm down. I know that you can handle such a responsibility- you have for more than a year now. You have no idea how many people's lives you have touched and changed forever- if it weren't for you, 135 people who now are alive and well, would have been dead. Sure some people are miserable following the choices that you've made- but in the end, they are better off. I picked you Joan, because you have a pureness that doesn't make any distinctions, what-so-ever."

"If I can save people's lives, then why can't I make decisions that doesn't hurt my family, huh!" Joan said sarcastically.

Dog Walking God walked away- without looking back, He waved.

As Joan was standing alone on the sidewalk, she felt the weight of Dog Walking God's words; "The snowball effect of your choices work far beyond your imagination." She was annoyed that He had put so much weight on her shoulders. How she wished that He hadn't told her the extensive effect of her choices- how would she ever be able to make a choice again, if she knew that so many people would experience its' effect! Feeling drained, Joan headed home.

_**Setting: the Girardi residence, Sunday around 1:30 pm. **_

As he heard the front door opening Kevin- seated at the kitchen table, pulled his head up from the paper he was reading. After Joan entered the house, their eyes met for a split second- a second, in which Joan could see her brother's loath for her in his eyes. Kevin quickly lowered his head and resumed reading the paper. Joan felt the urge to run up stairs and burry her head in her pillow and lie there until the end of time- then she wouldn't have to face her brother and his negative, yet understandable feelings for her. Or the rest of her family- as lately she felt a change in the atmosphere, whenever she entered a room occupied by one or more of her family's members. Instead she poured herself a big cup of orange juice, headed into the living room, which turned out to be empty. She went over to the book store, pulled out her favorite book 'The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants' made herself comfortable on the couch and started reading the book for the umpteenth time. She just loved Tibby, in some strange way they connected- there were so many little details about Tibby that reminded her of herself, on top of that- Tibby had lost Baily as she had lost Rocky.

Luke and Grace entered the living room, seeing Joan Luke rolled his eyes. He looked at the dvd he held in his hand and said more to himself than to anyone else; "I guess not then."

"No… it's okay… I'll just go up stairs and read." Joan offered.

Without waiting for an answer, she got to her feet and left the room. As she passed through the kitchen, she saw that Kevin was struggling to get a box of cheerios off a shelf above his head. Not thinking about it, she got the box off the shelf and handed it to a baffled Kevin. Without saying a word she headed up to her room.

Joan was half way through the third chapter when there was a knock at her door.

"Who is it?"

"Girardi it's Grace, may I come in?"

"It's open."

Grace then entered her room. As she hadn't been there in a while she looked around for changes. She found none, which didn't surprise her.

"Um Joan, thanks for letting us watch the dvd, we appriciate it."

Surprised Joan said; "You finished watching it already?"

"No, geek boy had to use the bathroom so it's on hold."

"Oh I see." Frowning Joan adds; "So why did you really come up here?"

"With everything that has happened between you, Kevin and everyone else, I wanted to see how you were holding up." Grace said with a frown wrinkeling her forhead.

"I guess I'll be okay… someday." Joan replied.

At that moment, Grace thought Joan looked like a little lost girl- so she went over to her friend to give her a big hug. As Grace embraced her, Joan burst out in tears- shedding some of the load of tension, which she had been carrying around lately.

Wiping the tears off of her face Joan said; "I'm sorry for being such a cry-baby."

"Hush… don't think about it Joan. You can't carry on like this forever… I mean you've gotta talk about what's happening. There's no way, that you can put up with all this emotionally without cracking. You wanna end up back in crazy camp, Girardi?" Grace said, concern sounding through in her voice.

"You're right Grace…I can't..it's too much….the other's loathing me in one degree or another…me seeing Kevin in pain…darn I just love him so much… yet I keep on hurting him! It just doesn't make sense."

"I know Girardi how much you love Kevin….and I know that he loves you too…only just not right now…someday…when you've patched up what's been broken…you'll both look back and wonder how things got so crooked." Grace said, managing to sound more confident than she felt.

"You really think so Grace…that things will be okay between me and Kevin?" Joan inquired

with a touch of hope.

In answer, Grace put Joan's head in her hands, locked her eyes on her's and said. "Joan, things will turn out okay." She then re-embraced Joan, only to let go a few seconds later.

"Grace…I'm gonna start the movie!" Luke threatens.

"Hold your horses geek boy, I'll be down in a sec!" She shouts out. Sighing she then said; "Boys are just such unpatient creatures." This remark produced a weak smile on Joan's lips.

Grace had crossed half the distance to the door when she said; "Joan, if you need to talk, you may call me…I don't care if it's frigging 3 in the morning…I mean it! I care about you and don't want to see you go to waste, you got that!" Grace said seriously.

Smiling weakly Joan replied; "Yeah…I got it. Thanks for being my friend Grace. I so needed a hug and some friendly words and here…voila…you are!"

"Bye Girardi. Take care." Grace then leaves.

When Grace re-enters the living room, Luke passes her a curious glance, as to say- where were you? Grace just shrugs her shoulders in reply and takes her seat on the couch. Accepting that he won't get an answer out of her, Luke sits down next to her and re-starts the dvd.

As Joan has slept rather badly lately, she falls asleep with the book still in her hand. Even in her sleep she is haunted by the stress that is occupying her body and mind, which results in her tossing and turning. At one given point, she somehow falls out of bed onto the hard ground- she then awakens. Realizing that she's on the floor she shakes her head. Drowsily she gets to her feet. Just as she's about to re-enter her bed, her mother calls on her to set the table. Confused Joan checks her watch for the time it's 5:30 pm. She then mutters to herself; "Gosh it's that late. I must have slept for hours." To avoid any conflicts she rushes downstairs.

_**Setting: The Girardi's kitchen, around 5:30 pm.**_

Helen is about to call Joan a second time, when she hears someone's feet stamping- sounding like a baby elephant, coming down the stairs. It's Joan. Well, someone that resembles Joan, as her hair is all messed up and her face looks gaunt and a lot older, than that of her 17 year old daughter. Seeing the way that her mom looks at her Joan explains; "I fell asleep and just woke up on the floor- right before you called on me."

"You woke up on the floor?" Helen said quizically.

"Yeah. Guess I must have turned one time too many." Joan said lightly.

Frowning Helen said; "I guess so." She hands Joan 4 plates.

"Mom, who isn't having dinner?" Joan inquired, looking over at her mother.

Smiling at her, Helen replied; "No one honey- oh, I know what you're thinking- and no, this has nothing to do with you. Kevin is eating in his room, because he is working on an article with a narrow dead line, that's all."

Semi-relieved Joan said; "Oh. Okay." Then she proceeds setting the table.

While they were seated at the table, Joan felt the scrutenizing silence, she kept casting involuntarily glances at Kevin's empty spot at the table- all of which, caused the stress which had been present in her mind and body for so long, to finally get the best of her- seemingly out of nowhere, her stomach churned, her heart thumped in her chest and a gigantic head ache built up behind her temples- she felt really sick. She looked around the table, to see if any of them noticed, that she hadn't touched her food. No one had. They were all assumingly, too preoccupied with their own thoughts and feelings.

" I'm going to call it a day- I'm beat, from multiple nights of minimal hours of quality sleep." Luke said before he left the table.

"Sure. Honey." Helen replied, smiling at her youngest son with out-stretched arms which suggested that she wanted a hug.

Smiling weakly Luke complied to her mother's wish.

Will ruffled Luke's hair foundly, when he passed him upon leaving the table.

Soon after, Will too left the table and went into the garage. To Joan, that could only mean **_one _**thing- her dad was going to work on **_the boat_**. The boat, which she had started to built as an assignment from God. The boat that had been Kevin and their dad's first mutual interest after her brother's accident- thereby the boat had caused them to bond. A bond, which to this day- some two years later, was still strong. Joan had to draw her thoughts away from the boat, as it made her feel even worse- to her the boat meant bonding- one thing which she wished she was doing right now.

Casually Helen asked Joan to clear the table as she was going to check on Kevin.

"Oh, sure mom." Joan answered, though she felt sick and weary and would rather have been hitting the sack instead.

After clearing the table, Joan went up stairs and got ready for bed, even though it was just 7 pm. She hoped that she would feel a bit better in the morning, as with the upcoming English test she couldn't afford to stay home. Now she knew the material, if she would stay at home, she would have to take a make up test. Knowing their English teacher, the make up test date, could easily be a week from now- by then, she would have forgotten what the story was all about.

_**Setting: The Girardi residence, Monday bright and early.**_

Ever so often during the night, Joan woke up- due to the fact, that she felt her stomach's contents traveling upwards and rushed to the bathroom, just to make it in the nick of time, again and again- on top of that, her heart was thumping and her head was throbbing, she had taken an Aspirin but it's effect was next to none. Joan knew that this, was her body's way of telling her, that there was too much stress present.

At 4:30 in the morning, she decided to try and releave herself of some stress- she got out her book on meditation, which she had bought following Cute Guy God's advice, sat down on the floor of her bedroom- read the introduction and got herself started. She sat there for about 15 minutes, trying different methods which she had read about and found, that the combination had helped her nerves calm just a bit. When she went back to bed at 5 am, she fell sound asleep, a combination of the effect of the meditation session and the fact that she was utterly exhausted.

She woke up at 7:30 am, at the sound of her alarm clock, which due to her sleepiness sounded far away, while it was in fact within arm's reach. It took her several attempts before she found the button that silenced the alarm, having done so, she slowly got into a sitting position, when stood up, her head throbbed and her entire surroundings were spinning. She sat down on the edge of her bed. After a few minutes she got to her feet once more, this time her head throbbed, she felt light headed but that was it. Seeing herself in the bathroom mirror, she got herself a bit of a scare- her skin was as white as a sheet, her eyes were puffy and red from lack of sleep. To try and bring down some of the puffyness, she wetted a washcloth with cold water and gently held it against her left eye, then her right eye. It seemed to have some effect, though not as much as she had hoped for. After Joan got dressed, she put on some camoflaging make up- just so that the kids at school wouldn't stare at her and her friends wouldn't worry about her. Downstairs in the kitchen she was blessedly alone. She ate a Cheerios breakfast, as she couldn't bother making herself sandwiches.

After getting her stuff together Joan left for school.

_**Setting- The Rove Residence, Monday morning.**_

Adam was playing with his cereal, thinking about today's English test during first period, he failed to read the story which they would be tested on because he had spent the entire weekend in the shed, as he had worked on a new sculpture inspired by his feelings for Jane- honestly, had it been his feelings for Joan? Hadn't it been his feelings for Helen? Adam soothed his mind, when he decided that it was a little of both.

After he chucked the rest of his cereal into the trashcan, Adam picked up his packback and headed out the door. On his way to school, Adam wondered what he was going to do in order to pass the English test. The teacher had told them about the test on Wednesday. Thursday and Friday he had English. He had been _way_ too present those two days- he had received a warning from the teacher on Thursday for sending notes to Joan- on Friday, he had been talking to Grace- for the first time in his life, he had been sent out into the hallway. With such behavior, it wouldn't do to say that he hadn't been feeling too hot- therefor he hadn't been able to read the story. He had felt strange though- as if someone else had taken possession of his body and mind- come to think of it, he still felt strange. It was like he was looking at himself- a stranger, from a distance. It was weird and he wasn't about to explain it. Maybe he'd talk about it with Luke later on. He'd bet, that Luke would have some kind of scientific explaination.

_**Setting: Arcadia High School, Monday 8:15 am..**_

Joan not feeling too hot herself, was worried about Adam- he looked awfully pale standing there infront of his locker, so she walked over to him and addressed him.

"Adam, you look so pale, are you alright- I mean… you're not sick or anything are you?"

Seemingly distracted by his own thoughts- Adam half-heartedly replies; "No Jane, I'm alright. Just stayed up too late, that's all."

"You sure Adam? You really look beat. I mean if there's anything… anything at all, that you want to get off your chest- I'll be there for you." Joan stated, while she kept a close eye on him to see if his body language revealed- that he was struggling with anything mentally. She detected a small nervous twitch just above his right eye brow but left it unmentioned, as the first bell rung. Joan knowing him the way she did, would seek a mentally grounded reason for him not studying for the test, instead of the unlikely but real reason, which boiled down to him being guilty of irresponsible conduct. Adam felt that he had been saved further inquiry by the bell and was thankful for this- as the up coming test occupied his thoughts sub-consciously as well as consciously and resulted in him him not being in the chatting and _surely_ _not_ in the answering questions mood.

Adam, had obviously not noticed her red puffy eyes or he would have asked her if she was alright too. Joan thought this meant, that she had been able to camoflage it well with the make-up she had administered to her face that morning.

As he entered the English room just before the second bell rang, Adam seeked out the desk with his test on it, as the seating during testing was different from their regular seating arreangement, to prevent friends from teaming up, giving each other the right answers.

Dude, he sure could use some help from his friends now. Seated in the back row, he looked around and saw that Grace would be of no help to him, as she was seated in the front row. Joan had been talking to their teacher, therefor he had no idea where she would be seated- there were still four unoccupied chairs, one in the front row, two in the third row and one to his right. Joan gave him a big smile before she sat down at the desk to his right. Adam smiled back, as he realized that he could easily copy the 15 answers to the multiple choice questions. As he knew her hand-writing well, he could decipher it and get the answers to the 5 open questions that way.

As always, their English teacher read the morning paper as the class took their test, which left the door wide open for him to register and copy the answers off of Joan's paper. The answers to the open questions, he had worded a bit differently from Joan's, just so that it wouldn't be apparant to their teacher, that the answers on both tests came off of just one.

When he handed his paper in he had felt confident that he would get a good grade, as well as Joan. Thank goodness Joan had read the story. Adam knew that Helen had gone over it a few times with her too, just to make sure she would do a good job on the test, as her average grade had been a mere C-.

When everyone had handed in their test, their teacher assigned them chapter 18 of the vocabulary book, which would keep them busy for the rest of the lesson- as well as giving them an hour or two of homework. While the students bent over the vocabulary their teacher graded the tests. Just before the end of class, they were handed back their test. The teacher had informed them, that if they had any questions about the test, they would be answered after school. Adam was pleased, when he saw that Joan and he had Aced their test. As he hadn't noticed, that Joan was standing by the teacher's desk, close to tears, he happily left the room for his second period PE class.

Joan was talking to the teacher in an angry voice, full of disbelief; "I don't believe this! How could you give me an F! There's only **_one_** red mark on my paper! That means that I got an A, not an F!"

"Miss Girardi, just like I mentioned before, questions about the test, can be addressed after school!" The teacher replied in a tone, that implied that she was stupid, trying to have him answer her question, at that instant.

"Grrrrrrrrrr.!" Joan said behind gritted teeth as she left the room.

She headed for second period French. When she got to the room, her teacher yelled at her for being late and told her to go and get a late slip. Feeling as lousy as she did, Joan wished that her mother still worked in the office, then she could have given her a few words of comfort. Mrs. Moran who now worked in the office, looked up when Joan knocked on the door.

"Oh, hi Joan, what can I do for you?"

"Hey, Mrs. Moran. I need a late slip for my French teacher."

"Okay. What's your reason for being late?"

As to not have to mention the test, which would have her bursting into tears, she said "No reason. I was simply late."

"I wish every one was this honest." Mrs. Moran said, giving Joan a smile, as she handed her the slip.

Joan managed to give her a weak smile in return, as she said "Thank you Mrs. Moran."

When she returned with the late slip, her French teacher snippily told her to take her seat. Joan could barely fight off the upwelling tears. Along with the stress she was already under in the aftermath of what had happened to Kevin. The test which she had aced and yet somehow failed. Her teacher's snippiness was enough to burst the bubble. Not wanting her classmates to see her cry, Joan quickly left the classroom.

A bit further down the hall, she locked herself in one of the stalls in the girl's bathroom. Shamelessly, she let the tears run free. She had no idea how long she had been there, when the flow of tears stopped. For a while she pondered about what to do next. She sertainly would not go back for the remainder of the French class. So she could choose between staying there until the bell rang and go to her third period Geometry class or go back to Mrs. Moran and ask if she would let her go home, as she didn't feel all that well. While she was still wondering what to do- the decision was made for her, as her stomach's contents announced it's oral exit. After washing her face and hands, Joan headed back to the administration office.

When she knocked on the door this time around and Mrs. Moran saw her, she said; "Oh my gosh Joan! You look awfully ill! You shouldn't be in school! How come you didn't say anything and I didn't notice you were ill, when you were in here earlier?"

"I didn't feel quite so bad earlier." Joan confessed.

"Would you like me to phone your mother, so that she can take you home?"

"Oh, no don't. She is testing all her classes today on some artist or another. I'll be okay taking the bus."

"The bus? Are you sure Joan? You know what… I'll tell Mr. Price that I'll be out for a while, get my keys, then I'll drive you home." Seeing that Joan's about to protest, Mrs. Moran quickly adds; "No buts, young lady!" She passes Joan, a warm smile before she enters Mr. Price's office. Before Joan knows it, she returns- keys in hand and motions for Joan to follow her. During the drive over to her house, Joan is silent except for the occasional; "go left, go right and straight ahead", as she guides Mrs. Moran to her house.

Before she left the car, Joan said; "Thank you ever so much for bringing me home, Mrs. Moran" and managed to give her a warm smile despite how she felt.

Smiling back at Joan, Mrs. Moran said; "My pleasure Joan. Atleast now I'll have some peace of mind, knowing that you got home alright."

Knowing that Mrs. Moran won't drive away before she sees her enter the house, Joan waves after she has climbed the steps, that lead up to the front door.

_**Setting, the Girardi residence around 11:00 am.**_

Kevin, sitting at his desk working on an article- heard the slamming of the front door. Not expecting anyone home for hours he called out; "Who's there?"

Joan too sick to answer, draged herself up the stairs, threw open the bathroom door and saged through her knees infront of the toilet.

Kevin heard the unmistakable sound of someone throwing up. Instinctively he knew it was Joan, as he had heard her throw up multiple times during the previous night. It dawned on Kevin, that Joan, besides having been sick during the night and now- must have been sick at school too, as she was home 4 hours early.

Giving first one wheel, then the other a push with his left arm, Kevin managed to reach the bathroom. Looking in through the wide-open door, he saw his sister rise from her postition by the toilet bowl, take the few steps to the sink and freshen herself up. However much he loathed Joan- seeing her like that, his brotherly feelings of concern took the overhand. He reached out his left hand and grabbed the towel hanging on the hook closest to the door.

"Joan. Catch!" Kevin said and threw the towel in her direction. Although startled beyond belief- hearing Kevin say her name, Joan was able to catch the towel.

As she uttered a word of thanks, tears rolled down her cheeks- opening Kevin's eyes to the reason why his sister was being sick. **_Stress!_**- most likely caused by the radical negative change, in **_their_** once so close relationship.

Kevin, now feeling Joan's pain, reached out his good arm to her and welcomingly said; "Come here and have a seat Joanie. Let's talk. Okay?"

Being called Joanie by Kevin, was something that brought back long lost memories to Joan's mind and even more tears to her eyes. With her head spinning and her knees buckling on her, most probably due to lack of food in her body- Joan more fell, than sat down on her brother's lap. Afraid that she had hurt Kevin, Joan hysterically cried out: "Are you okay? I'm so sorry!"

"It's okay Joanie." Kevin said soothingly, as he put his good arm around her he not only supported but comforted her too. For a while they sat in silence, except for the occasional sob, coming from either of them.

"Joanie...let's get outta here. Okay? Move into my room, where you can get comfy on a chair or my bed or whatever… while we talk?"

"Sure." Joan said. When she was about to get up from his lap, Kevin stopped her. "Joanie, if you could face forward instead of sideways- give the right wheel a push when I do the left one, then you could stay seated. Okay?" In reply, Joan nodded her head and changed into the requested position. When the two of them both pushed off on an agreed three count- they barely missed the hallway wall, opposite the bathroom, they laughed in unison. Once they reached his room, Joan let herself slide off Kevin's lap onto his bed. He seated himself opposite her, hands folded in his lap.

Kevin cleared his throat, then opened the conversation: "Joanie, I'm no longer mad at you…or whatever. I'm probably just as sorry things got so messed up as you are. Times haven't been easy for me the past years…well.. since the accident. Okay I'm able to deal with it. Well most of the time I 'm, but that doesn't mean that I don't miss- regret, not being able to do things. That's why that remark hurt so bad Joanie. Firstly it was undeserved- I just called you down to dinner. Secondly- it just hit my weak spot, at a time that I was down about not being able to play ball or walk. If I deserve it and you make a remark fine, just please don't let it be linked to my disability, because that is just so low, hurtfull, something which I can't do anything about. Okay?"

Tears streaming down her cheeks, realizing the extent of pain her remark imploded in Kevin, Joan nods in reply.

"Now, correct me if I'm wrong. You were sick last night and now weren't you, because of how things have kinda turned out between us two lately. Right?"

"Um… right. Well mostly anyways. I just couldn't handle you of all people, being mad at me. I mean… you mean so much to me. Darn. If you weren't my brother, I probably would have asked you out ages ago! No, don't you laugh, I mean it! Well anyhow, I wanted to apologize so bad."

Rolling her eyes Joan continued; "Ah duh- as though that would make everything all right. That I well, you know…stalked you…then everything turned out even worse, as you felt like you had to escape **_me_**….and then you fell down those stairs…I swear my heart stopped beating! I was so scared… that when I felt for your pulse… there wouldn't be any!" Joan breaks down sobbing- Kevin reaches his hand out to hers, they connect.

Crying softly Joan continues; "Then when you woke up in the hospital and I was the only one around, you clearly let on, that I was una persona non grata. Now that really hurt. I so needed to show you that I cared. I so needed to apologize. I so needed to make things okay between us. Beign sick like this- I guess it's a sign, that my body couldn't handle the bottled up tension anymore, that it has been carrying around the past…eternity." Kevin pulls himself closer to Joan- he like her, feels the need to make amencement. Kevin and Joan embrace one another. Unashamed, the both of them let their tears run freely- shedding the tension that they both feel- and whatever bad feelings stood between them.

After their intense, open hearted, relationship mending conversation, Joan felt exhaustion take the overhand. Kevin sensed this and told her: "Joanie if you're tired, you're more than welcome to have a lie-down on my bed and rest-up some. First though, I'd like for you to have a drink of water- I don't want, my beloved little sister to dehydrate on me." Kevin said smiling, with a look of concern on his face. Before Joan could reply, Kevin reached out for a cup, which he filled with water from a bottle on his bedside table. Taking small sips, Joan emptied the cup. When she lied down, her exhausted, stressed-out body was soon sound asleep.

When Kevin returned to his desk, his lap top's display told him that it was 1:10 pm. He resumed writing his article, while he glanced over at Joan every now and then. He knew that Helen would be home from work early, as her last class ended at 1:45 pm. When she came home and went up stairs to check on Kevin, she found him seated by the stairs, waiting for her. Somehow, she thought he looked happier, than he had in a long time. When she was about to speak, he put a finger on his lips to silence her- instead he gestured for her to come closer. "Joan is home. She's sleeping on my bed."

"She's sleeping on your bed? She didn't did she..? I mean, stalk you again!" Helen said concerned.

"Oh no, not at all. Mom, she's all stressed-out. I have never seen her look so pale or sick like this. I'm concerned that she'll dehydrate. She was sick all night, at school and back again here too!"

"When I saw you on top of the stairs, you looked happier than you have in a while. You being concerned about Joan- does this perhaps mean that you have sorted things out?"

With a big smile Kevin replied; "Yes it does mom! Joanie and I are tight again! Our relationship, is back to square one!" After this revelation Helen and Kevin embraced for a brief moment. Then they headed back to his room, both concerned for Joan's health.


	8. Chapter 8

Kevin the Comforter Chapter 8- Different Shades of Guilt 

_**Setting- The Girardi residence, Monday around 2:45 pm.**_

Kevin and Helen enter his room. Helen walks over to his bed to see how Joan is doing, when she touches her forehead it seems a bit warm. Helen pulls up a chair and sits by the bed, allowing Kevin to get back to the article he was working on. Seated behind his lap top he looks over at Joan with certain concern. He catches himself thinking how fast things can change, as just that morning he was loathing Joan and now he was concerned about her well being. Helen, catching Kevin looking in their direction instead of down at his lap top sends him a warm smile, he returns it and then focuses on the work that he has to do.

When Helen seats herself after having poured a glass of water from a bottle on the bed side table, she finds herself looking into Joan's wide open, yet glacy looking eyes.

Joan a bit disoriented, blinks a couple of times. Her mother's worried look brings one of confusion to her face, with a touch of bewilderment she says;

"Mom, what are you doing here? Why do you look so worried- everything is fine between Kevin and me now, or at least it was before I fell asleep." Frowning, looking a bit uncertains she adds; "I think."

To soothe her daughter's mind Helen smiles down at her, takes a hold of her hand and says; "Yes Joan, Kevin and you are fine. It's more you're health that's worrying me right now.

Smiling weakly Joan says; "Oh. I'll be fine. I was stressed out, that's all." Slowly she then gets to her feet and walks over to where Kevin is seated at his desk.

Hearing approaching footsteps, he looks up- into her smiling face. Gently Joan pushes his chair away from his desk, he offers no resistance. She then gets onto his lap, looks him straight into the eyes and says;

"Kevin Girardi, you are the best big brother anyone could ever hope, wish and least of all have!- in return, I hope to be the best little sister you could ever have from now on!" She then embraces him and he puts his arms around her.

When trusting his voice after swallowing hard a couple of times, a blushing Kevin says; "Joan you shouldn't give me such high credits. I'm not all that great. Besides, all those compliments might bring back my old arrogance- now you wouldn't wanna do that!" He is smiling as he concludes his sentence.

"Ah, if the truth should make you arrogant, then so be it. I'd rather you know how I feel, than shut it inside and spend another night in the bathroom all stressed-out because of it." Joan says meaningfully.

Helen finds her two oldest kids' closeness touching after their agonizing dispute, before she knows, it a tear escapes her eye. Joan sees this and beckons her over to them, Helen takes up the invititation and they embrace in a gigantic bearhug. Helen distanciates herself from the embrace to look at her two eldest and says; "Would either of you be interested in a Rootbeer float?" Neither reclines the offer. "Okay. I'll give a holler when they are ready, so that the two of you can join me in the living room." Helen then proceeds down stairs to the kitchen- knowing that Luke will be home from school soon she makes him one as well.

Meanwhile, Kevin fills Joan in on his most recent articles as she has always shown interest in his work. Joan in return fills him in on the English test which she took earlier that day that she should have aced with just one mistake, yet somehow failed.

"Why didn't you ask your teacher how you got such a poor grade with just one mistake?" Kevin inquires.

"I tried, but he sent me away- telling me that all questions about the test would be answered after school and only then." Joan replies with a big sigh.

"When you do have a chance to ask him, he better have a good reason; like he made a mistake, as one fault could never lead to an F, unless you cheated? Knowing you though, I think that's out of the question." Kevin says smiling at Joan.

"Yeah you're right, he better have a good excuse, as I didn't cheat and didn't deserve an **F**. I'll tell you tomorrow what he had to say for himself." Joan says with a smirk, which makes Kevin laugh- jokingly he says;

"He better watch out, Joan is on the war path!"

"Uhuh I sure am, I want the A that I deserve!"

"Kevin, Joan, come downstairs." Helen calls up from the bottom of the staircase.

"We'll be right there!" Joan calls in reply.

A few minutes after Joan and Kevin joined Helen in the living room, Luke arrives home from school. Helen calls out to him;

"Luke there's a rootbeer float here waiting for you." Luke replies;

"Oh great, be right there!" Walking into the living room, seeing Joan and Kevin seated next to one another he cannot help smiling- "So you two finally sorted things out I guess?"

Passing each other a smile, they both say "Yeah we did."

Smiling perkily Luke says; "Glad things are back to normal, whatever that is." This has the others cracking up and Luke, looking confused says; "I didn't say anything funny, so did I miss something here!"

"It's not what you said, but the way you said it that's so funny!" Helen says wiping a tear from her eye.

"Oh, okay. I rest my case." Luke says shrugging his shoulders, still not quite getting why they laughed, but not wanting to let this on.

"By the way Joan, did you happen to leave school early today, I missed you at lunch, so did Adam?" Luke informes;

"Yeah as a matter of fact I did, I wasn't feeling too hot so Mrs. Moran told me to go home. She actually drove me home too, afraid that I wouldn't get home if I took the bus!- wasn't that sweet of her!"

Smiling Helen says; "It sure was. Why didn't she tell me that you had gone home sick though?"

Wrinckling her forhead Joan replies; "Um, because I told her not to, as you were testing your classes today."

Giving Joan a hug Helen says; "If you're so sick that you get sent home from school, by all means do inform me or let someone else do so from now on okay, that counts for all three of you." Helen says seriously.

"Ahum, ahum" Kevin interrupts the following silence.

"Yes Kevin, what is it?" Helen inquires.

"Well mom, as I'm no longer in school that can't apply to me!" Kevin says jokingly.

"Ah, well in your case, if you get sent home from work, I want to be informed!" Helen says looking seriously at her eldest son.

"Okay that does apply to me." Kevin says sending his mother a mischivous smile.

The phone then rings and Helen goes to pick it up-

on the other end she hears Adam's concerned voice; "Hey Mrs.G is Jane there? Can I speak to her or is she you know… too sick to come to the phone?"

Looking at Joan Helen replies, "No Adam, she's here and you can speak to her." She then hands phone over to Joan.

Smiling Joan says; "Hi Adam."

"Hey Jane, you alright? I missed you during luch today."

Smiling weakly Joan says; "I was sick, Mrs. Moran sent me home during second period."

In a concerned tone of voice Adam says; "Jane are you feeling better now?"

"Yeah I'm feeling better, I was just stressed-out, the situation being what it was between Kevin and me got to me, among other things."

"What other things Jane?" Hearing the concern in his voice, Joan assumes that Adam is worried that their relationship is involved somehow.

"Oh nothing to do with you or us Adam." Joan says reassuringly.

"Oh, okay. Do you mind if I come over after dinner? I just want to see you." Adam says weakly, as he actually wants to see Helen, not Joan.

Regret sounding through in her voice Joan says; . "I'm sorry Adam, I really need to go to bed early, I still feel kinda weak."

For good measure Adam throws in a "I hope you are well enough for me to see you in school tomorrow."

Sincerely Joan says; "I hope so too Adam, I miss you."

"Take care Jane"

"Take care Adam, bye."

"Bye Jane."

As Joan returns to the rest of the family, Helen smiles at her and says;

"Adam, is such a sweet boy- I bet he wanted to come over to see you."

Sighing Joan replies; "Yeah he did, good old Adam." Smiling weakly at Helen, Joan says; "I so need a shower, do I have time for one before dinner?"

"If you don't make it a long one you do!" Helen replies with a broad smile. Joan then heads up the stairs.

"I sure hopes she's all right. I mean, Joan telling Adam that she couldn't see him today is kinda weird, even if she is tired and feeling weak." Kevin says honestly concerned about his younger sister's health.

"I agree with you Kevin. I will keep an eye on her the rest of the evening, just in case." Helen says to reasure Kevin, as well as herself.

Then the phone rings once more, it's Will; "Hi Helen honey, I'm going to be late as I'm working on a case."

A bit disappointed Helen says; "Oh, okay, shall I wait up for you?"

Perkily Will replies; "Yeah, that would be great, it won't be all that late, I hope."

"Bye honey, take care."

"Bye Helen, take care."

Girardi residence, around 5 PM 

The bell rings, Helen opens the door, it's Grace-

"Oh hi Grace, do you want me to call Luke for you?"

A concerned Grace replies; "Hi Mrs. Girardi, I actually came to see Joan. Is she okay?"

"She will be okay, she was stressed-out about Kevin being mad at her."

Sighing in relief Grace says; "Could I see her or is she lying down?"

"Actually she's taking a shower right now, but you can come in if you like and wait for her."

Grace replies "Thanks Mrs. Girardi." And enters the house.

"Grace, why don't you go in to the living room and keep Kevin company, as I have to cook dinner." As Grace wrinckles her forhead in confusion- Helen adds; "Oh Luke has tons of homework and a test to study for." Grace nods as she now understands why she was asked to keep Kevin company.

Upon entering the living room Grace feels a bit awkward- the last time she spoke to Kevin was months ago and the subject had been his suicidal thoughts, she had wanted to talk him out of them, but it had proved unnecessary as he had aready figured out that life was worth living after all.

Kevin sees that Grace isn't at ease but doesn't let this on, instead he just says; "Hi Grace, what brings you here?"

"Um, I was worried about Joan, I missed her at lunch today. Your mom told me I could wait for her in here."

As Grace is still standing, Kevin says; "Grace there are plenty of chairs left, just grab one and have a seat. Knowing Joan, she won't be down for a while yet."

Smiling weakly Grace, takes a seat opposite Kevin. "Kevin, how long are you gonna stay mad at Joan? I've never seen her so freaked-out before, she's so worried that you'll never forgive her and that she's lost her big brother forever- I think that's why she's sick now."

Kevin is moved by Grace's effort to patch things up between himself and Joan- this girl has guts that's for sure, he thinks to himself and smiles. Grace sees this and says; "Kevin, why are you smiling? I'm serious your sister is really suffering!"

Wiping the smile of off his face Kevin replies; "She came home from school early. I found her hanging over the toilet bowl, I realized how much she was suffering, we had a talk and things are okay between us now. I must say that you do have guts Grace, trying to patch things up for your friend."

This last remark had Grace off balance and blushing, yet she managed to reply; "Kev I'm glad you're human enough to give Joan a break, if you hadn't, she would soon have landed back in crazy camp and I don't think she would have survived that!"

At first he doesn't know what to think of Grace's remark about him being human enough- if he supposed to get mad or if he is supposed to take it as a weird kind of complement, after he has decided he replies; "Human enough, just what do you mean by that? Do you find me cold or something like that?" Kevin replies a bit defencively.

Grace wrinckles her forhead in concern; "Oh no, not at all cold! I meant it as a complement, not something to offend you."

Kevin smiles shyly- "Well in that case, thanks for the complement!"

Smiling Grace says; "You're welcome. Now where is Joan already?"

Smiling mischivously Kevin says, "Why? Am I boring you already?"

Grace sees that he is teasing her and smiling she replies, "Yeah, you are so not good company!"

Joan has entered the room- Grace and Kevin are so into teasing one another, that they do not notice her presence and she does not let on that she is there, as she is enjoying the moment- seeing her bestfriend and her older brother having fun, enjoying one another's company.

"Well neither are you!" Kevin replies jokingly.

"Ah, then why are you still here? Why didn't you wheel off to wherever?" Grace fires back at him, smiling triumphantly.

"Oh. That hurt Grace! Why back-stab me like that!" Kevin says, putting on a phony you hurt-my-feeling's face, at which Grace sarcastically replies;

"Ah, poor Kevin, why don't you ask if mommy will comfort you?" Joan tries to stiffle her laughter at which she fails and Kevin and Grace turn to her simultaniously.

Kevin is the first to speak: "Um, Joan, how long have you been standing there?"

Smiling Joan replies, "Oh just about an eternity! I had too much fun listening to the two of you, to let on that I was here already."

Smiling at Joan Grace says; "Girardi, spying on people is so not cool and just not done!"

Smiling Kevin wants his say too- "Yeah Joan, spying is considered rude behavior, especially when people are having fun- you should be a good sport and join in instead."

Sarcastically Joan replies; "Ah, but what if I say something as a joke and one of you take it seriously? Where would that get me- a brother or a friend less? Um, don't think so!" With a wave of her hand she says, "So count me out."

At this, Kevin reaches out to Joan with his left arm and pulls her gently towards him. "Joan, we're just joking around, the remarks hold no truth or harm. We all know that!"

Thinking it over, Joan looks from Grace to Kevin and back again; "Oh well. All I say from now on is meant as a joke okay. You both understand that?" Joan looks at Grace and gets an affirmative nod, she then looks over at Kevin which is still holding her hand and gets another nod.

"Well then let the fun begin!" Joan says, letting go off Kevin's hand to grab a pillow- automatically he puts his hands before his face, expecting Joan to hit him with it- instead she drops it to the floor and has a seat- leaving Kevin with an a baffled look on his face, as it was something he had not anticipated her to do.

Grace points her finger at Kevin and says; "Dude that look on your face, it's worth a billion!"

This has Joan cracking up and Kevin sends her a 'just-you-wait!' glance.

"Ah, what you gonna do to me?" Joan says provocatively.

Laughing Kevin replies; "One way or the other, I'm gonna get you!"

Grace blurts out; "Just how do you tend to get her with one arm in a cast?" Joan and Grace both turn pale, afraid that eventhough it was meant as a joke, this remark will have hurt his feelings as Kevin's complexion fades a few shades- within a few seconds though, a smirk appears on his face- Joan and Grace both let out a sigh of relief.

Sarcastically Kevin says; "Well Grace, me being crippled with just one arm, I thought you would help me get Joan. Guess I figured you wrong."

Beating Joan gently with a small pillow, a broadly smiling Grace says; "No you didn't!"

Joan holds her hands up before her face and chuckling she says; "Grace, please have mercy. I'm so laughing too hard. I'll die! Do you want me dead?"

Stopping with the pillow in mid-air Grace looks at her friend and says; "No I don't want you dead Girardi! I do however like to hear you laugh." Having said that, Grace resumes hitting Joan gently with the pillow.

Helen enters the living room- like Joan, she does not immediately let her presence be known, as she enjoys seeing the three of them having fun and hearing their laughter.

Luke has snuck up behind Helen and he is the one that breaks-up the 'party' by addressing Grace in a rather annoyed tone of voice; "Grace, why are you here and don't I know about it?"

Smiling Grace replies; "I was told that you were busy doing school work.Weren't you?"

Casting Helen a meaningful glance he says; "Yeah, I was. Still you could have dropped in and said hi."

Smiling sheepishly Grace waves at Luke and says; "Hi Luke!"

Rolling his eyes Luke says: "Girls! They are made up of atoms and cells too, so why are they so hard to figure out?"

Smiling at him, Kevin cynically replies; "Don't know. Guess with your brain, you can figure it out though, if anybody can."

Luke rolls his eyes at Kevin and sarcastically says; "Oh you're no help either!"

Now it's Kevin's turn to roll his eyes, sarcastically he says; "Ah, so now I'm not being helpful."- Throwing his left hand theaterically into the air, he says; "Geez, excuuuse me for living!"-and giggles.

Mumbling "I can't take anymore of this." Luke leaves the room, followed by a bemused Grace. The two of them go to the kitchen and start setting the table, they are soon joined by Helen.

"Grace, would you like to stay for dinner?" Helen inquires.

Smiling Grace says; "Sure Mrs.Girardi if my mom will let me." Standing with the phone in hand, Grace smiles and nods at Helen, her mother has agreed to her eating at the Girardi's. Luke, pleased that Grace is staying, starts whistling to both Helen and Grace's dismay, as it's one of the few things he isn't good at.

When Will arrives home a little past 11 pm, he is glad to see that Helen has waited up for him. He want to know if Kevin and Joan are still getting along, as the situation between lately had gotten to him too emotionally. Helen tells him about Joan, Kevin and Grace joking and laughing in the living room- in doing so, tears dwell from her eyes, she too had suffered along with her two eldest kids at their distorted relationship, and these were tears of happiness and relief. Will and Helen hugged eachother tenderly, each understanding what the other was feeling, then they said good night.

_**Tuesday at Arcadia High School**_

Helen and Joan enter the English room first thing in the morning, to address her teacher on the F that she had been given and most likely did not deserve. The answer they got, was that she was suspected of cheating- her answers and that of another sudent had been the same. Unbelievingly Helen said; "How do you know that my daughter cheated and not the other student?"

In reply the teacher said; "Because your daughter has never gotten an A in this subject before and the other student gets them all the time, that's why Mrs. Girardi."

Helen sighed and says; "Well this time I know she could have gotten an **A**, as I reviewed the story with her time after time and I know she almost knew it by heart when she left the house yesterday morning. So in this case, it doesn't prove that she did cheat and the other student didn't."

The teacher then promissed them, that the other student would be approached and asked if he or she had cheated.

"Thank you for your effort and I hope you come to the bottom of this after speaking to the other student." Helen says meaningfully.

A bit reluctanctly the teacher says; "Me too."

In conclusion Helen says: "I'll get back to you at lunch time to find out if you have gotten any the wiser." With that Helen and Joan leave the room.

During the time leading up to lunch, Joan and Helen alike are a bit nervous about the out-come of the English grade business. Joan wants to know if she will get her deserved **A, **thereby bringing her grade up a great deal and Helen wants to know if Joan will get her A, if so, will the teacher apologize for calling Joan a cheater and who is the real cheater.

When Helen and Joan enter the English room at lunch time, they find the teacher along side a flushed and teary eyed Adam- seeing Joan, Adam drops his head into his hands, which are resting on his lap, as if this gesture will make him invisible and the situation non-existent.

Unbelivingly Joan says; "No, way! Adam, did you copy my test answers! Did you!"

In reply, Adam nods his head. With his head still in his hands, he brings it up a bit, then barely audiably says; "Jane I'm so sorry! I had no idea that me cheating would give you an F. I thought you got an A like me- I figured the teacher wouldn't find out, as I worded the open questions differently from you.

Too mad to face Adam any longer, Joan leaves the room, leaving Helen and Adam there staring at one another, both lost for words, Helen due to her anger against Adam, as him cheating, had contributed to Joan being sick the previous day and Adam due to shame, humiliation and letting Helen down, as he knew Helen tried to fill in the space his mother once had taken in his life, she was doing a great job at being 'his' mother, but as of now, he was anything but a great 'son' to Helen.

Afraid to say something she would regret, Helen left the room too and went to see if she could find Joan, as she was sure her daughter needed her now.


End file.
